


The Last Piece

by Cerulean_supwho



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal, Angst, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Cunnilingus, F/M, M/M, Major Character Injury, Not Really Character Death, Original Character(s), Porn, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Top Dean, Underage Sex, Young Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 08:53:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 35,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5369291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerulean_supwho/pseuds/Cerulean_supwho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After another near death experience Dean and Cas explore their feelings for each other. Just as they are becoming sexually intimate Cas disappears mysteriously and leaves Dean agonizing over the loss of his angel. Overcome with grief  Dean reaches out to someone who helped him when John left Dean in charge of Sam and he found himself in over his head. This woman is credited with teaching Dean the art of pleasing women,and the ability to give them "the best sex ever".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first fanfic. I love getting feedback as I want to improve. Working on Seraglio which is set in the future. Destiel centric, but a slow burn. This piece grew out of my need to see snapshots of Sam and Dean growing up, pre series. I love reading fanfic. So many so little time. Other Authors inspire me.

Chapter One

2012

Dean was in his baby again, a black ‘67 Impala that his dad had given him when he was 16. Because it was special to John Winchester, Dean had taken great pains to make sure the Chevrolet was well taken care of. Right now, he was alone on the road, no Sam riding shotgun. His heart was aching and he was frantic to find Cas. He’d been looking for months, tried every channel, portal and charm that he could. There had been no effective summoning spell, no way to tune in to “angel radio”, so he was beside himself, tormented with the loss of his angel. Cas had gone away before, but not for this long, and not without responding to Dean’s prayers. In the past he could always at least feel his presence somehow, or at least be certain that he would be with him soon. Something was different this time; there was this empty place inside him where Cas should be. 

Dean had run out of patience months ago. Now he was starting to grieve for his angel, Dean came to the conclusion that Cas had to be dead to leave for this long. Castiel and Dean had been through so much together. They had skirted around the reality of their deep feelings for each other, trying to work side by side without revealing their true feelings for one another during the many hunts and various wars on earth and in heaven. Before Cas left this last time they had finally confessed their deep devotion to one another. Dean had a lot of craziness in his life, but acknowledging his love for Cas was way off the radar, even for him. He had fallen for an angel, and the most amazing part of it was that Cas was in love with his human as well.

Even before they had disclosed their feelings for one another, Cas always came back. Cas promised he would always watch over Dean. Dean always knew Cas would return. Even when he left him in purgatory, Dean expected and knew Cas would always return to him. “Dammit Cas , where are you?” Dean said to the interminable night, as the miles clicked slowly by.

The tears started running slowly down Dean’s face, clouding his vision. He thought he was all cried out before he left Sam at the bunker. Now the pain was so great, washing over him in waves, encompassing his soul. He was bereft. The last few weeks he had given up and just stayed in bed, not eating, bathing or drinking. Alcohol had befriended Dean early in his life. It helped to dull the ache from all the painful things he had to experience. Nothing worked anymore. His heart was so heavy and he could find no solace.

It didn’t help to be cooped up with Sam all of the time. His brother tried to reassure and calm him, tried to help him contact the angel to no avail. Dean knew he was just trying to help in any way that he could, he just couldn’t stand the way Sam looked at him, with pity, and those damn puppy dog eyes of his. It made Dean feel worse. Neither one of them had even come up with a clue as to what had happened to Cas. He had left in the middle of the night. No note, no warning, just a cold spot in the bed next to him where Cas should be. 

Dean knew Sam was worried about him. Sam had been there the whole time, had seen him go through a lot and was happy that finally Dean and Cas were going to find some sort of security and peace in their crazy lives. Sam had watched their relationship change gradually from one of protector and hunter, to then friends and allies. Sam watched as the two fell in love, Dean fighting his true feelings most of the way. Cas on the other hand, had always made it clear that he and Dean had a profound bond, that his intention was to be there for Dean and that he always had been. 

Cas was always in his personal space. Dean had admonished Castiel several times about the being too close issue. It was more that Dean wanted to train the angel how to act around humans. He couldn’t really say that Cas being close bothered him. From the beginning he liked knowing that his angel was always looking out for him, protecting him against all comers. Who wouldn’t want a powerful being at your beck and call, guarding you, making sure you were safe? Everything changed during a hunt that should have been fairly straight forward, but things went terribly wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm now working on Seraglio which is set in the future. Not finished yet. I  
> But it is a slow burn and the best is yet to come. Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two 

Sam and Dean were on a hunt in Massachusetts, where there was a witch who was wreaking havoc on a small town by recruiting teenagers with a penchant for the occult. The witch preyed on kids that were not coping well with transitioning to adulthood. They were failing miserably in school and relationships, which made them easy targets for her Machiavellian plans. All of the students had self esteem issues, were acting out or were suffering at the hands of other students. Emotional trauma was rampant in these teens lives, some were bullied, others had home lives that sucked, all were not doing too well at school, either academically or socially. 

The witch was teaching them to cast malicious spells and they were causing quite a bit of damage trying to retaliate against those that had allegedly wronged them. Not just property damage, but love spells, and charms to help them pass their class work without studying. The kids were out of control and the parents were frantic, with one too many calls from angry neighbors. There was a rash of missing and or mutilated pets, lawn mowers and other equipment around homes that ceased to work or would turn up in odd places. One large metal storage building was found on the altar at one of the local churches. 

The witch had wormed her way into the high school as a guidance counselor and was wooing them by preying on their weaknesses. Most of these were angst ridden teens anyway and were therefore receptive to her overtures about learning a “new way to achieve things in life”. Of course it sounded like a lot of psychobabble which made it sound legitimate, especially as they were sorely in need of a purpose in life. Ms Snider invited her special students to at her office or house after school for “group therapy”. 

She was one twisted sister, preying on psyches that were struggling to find their niche in life. She gave them something to belong to and to excel at. The problem was, magic always has consequences and the town was in an uproar trying to figure out what was going on. At first they felt sure it was some kind of new drug affecting the teens, they searched lockers, brought in the drug task force. All that turned up was some prescription drugs like hydrocodone, random small stashes of weed and some odd bags of bones and herbs. 

That was what caught Sam’s attention. He was searching the net one night, unable to sleep. When he read the article he exclaimed,” Hex bags, they’re using hex bags!” Dean was lying in the other bed on his stomach, light snoring sounds emanating from his prone body. He jerked up and mumbled “Wassup -------Sammy?” “It’s witches! They’re using hex bags right outside of Bedford, Massachusetts. I found us a case”.

“Can it wait til morning Sam? I haven’t got my four hours in yet” Dean whined. 

“Sure, sure. It can wait til morning. Or you can sleep in the back seat and I’ll drive. It’s at least a half day drive from here” Sam responded. 

“No. I’ll drive Sammy. Just give me a couple more hours and I’ll be good to go”.

Dean was not in the mood to let anyone else handle his baby. This had been a bone of contention between him and Sam, but he just felt better being in control of the Chevrolet. He’d taken it apart and put it back together so many times that he knew his baby like he knew the back of his hand. It made him uncomfortable for someone else to have his hands on the wheel; it calmed him and took his mind off of other unpleasant things when he was in the driver’s seat. It also didn’t hurt to have some good tunes blaring as they travelled. 

The next morning they took off at the butt crack of dawn, stopped at a Gas n Sip to get fuel for the car and their stomachs and hit the road, Sam riding shotgun as usual. They rolled into town late in the afternoon, checked into a cheap motel, stored their stuff and went to work. Cas was not with them. He had gone to heaven to sort out some things with the new regime. He’d only been gone a couple of days and Dean had been moody ever since he left. Sam noticed his mood, but didn’t say much. He was used to Dean’s mood swings. Dean always seemed calmer when Cas was around. Dean would probably not admit it, but it did make him feel more secure with his personal protector in close proximity. 

First they went to the police station to get the low down on the odd occurrences, to see if they were connected to any single or group of people. They had seen how witches worked before and knew about the power behind the spells. Dean nearly died when a hex bag had been targeted at him.

The reported cases of recent mayhem were escalating. At first there had been reports of minor issues, lost pets, vandalism, kids with spontaneous nose bleeds or unexplainable disruptions in classrooms at the high school. Now the well loved pets were being mutilated, large objects were missing or found in odd places, as well as some of the high school kids were complaining about some odd behavior of the popular kids. At first it was unnerving to see them crushing on someone they would have never given a second look at before things started happening. It was one thing to see them falling over themselves to get attention from the dorks and cast outs, but when the pretty cheerleaders started waking up in the arms of Goth boys or Goth girls for that matter, the whole school knew that there had to be something behind the chaos that was escalating. The teens were having a very hard time explaining the lost hours and their parents weren’t buying any of their crap alibis. 

It was getting more dangerous by the minute with several kids from the high reporting bizarre incidences causing bodily harm. At first there were some minor nosebleeds, falls without true injury, hands slammed in locker doors, and clothes disappearing. The severity of the injuries had intensified with teens going to the local emergency room with fractures, a couple of concussions and some were babbling like idiots. They couldn’t repeat their names nor could they recognize people who should have been familiar to them. 

Sam was the first to notice that more of the occurrences happened at the high school or that were teens involved. Next stop Stormy Meadows High. Sam and Dean entered the main school office asking to see the principal. They were dressed in cheap suits and offered their DEA badges for inspection. Principal Brown spoke to them briefly and gave them carte blanche to review the student records and interview students as well as faculty. 

They started with the records of teens with injuries and went to interview their friends and classmates. Most of the affected teens were either popular, jocks and reasonably well liked by their friends that the hunters spoke with. Dean started noticing a pattern that some of the kids who were more standoffish about the questioning being loners, withdrawn and a few had some recent problems at school. A lot of them had been referred to the new guidance counselor, Miss Snider, so her office was next.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Sam knocked on the office door of Ms Dee Snider, LCSW, and School Counselor.

“Come in”

“Hello. We are officers Jamison and Bickler from the DEA. We’d like to speak with you for a few minutes if we may?”

Sam and Dean proffered their badges for her to scan and she acknowledged them with a nod and a gesture for them to come in. “Please have a seat gentleman. What can I do for you?” 

The woman was pleasant enough and the boys noticed she was not unpleasant to look at either. She was on the tall side for a woman, approximately five eight or nine, coal black eyes that went with her olive skin and a mass of dark wavy hair that fell loosely to her shoulders. She had on a clingy black dress with dangly, light catching earrings. Her figure was full and curvy, filling out the dress in a very eye pleasing way. The room was a typical counselor’s office. Lots of books and manuals on the shelves, posters with encouraging verbiage like, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life!” and “Hang in there!”

Her voice was soothing, enigmatic and Dean found he could not take his eyes off of her. Every time he made eye contact with her he felt a little tingle. The thing was he couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad tingle. After interrogating the woman for 30 minutes all they found out was that she seemed to care a lot about her students and her job. She offered to help them in any way she could. She also suggested that there might really be a drug problem, but that she was unaware of any of her students being involved with a “new drug”. 

Sam and Dean made their rounds, interviewing students and families that had been affected by recent events. They pulled up to a two story white house in a moderate income neighborhood. No cars outside that they could see, but there was a detached garage to the right of the house. Sam went to the front door and Dean went around back quietly as they were due to run into something. It had been a very unproductive day so far.

The front door was opened by a gangly Goth teen, dressed in all black, nose ring, lip ring and gauges in his ears. His hair was dyed black with blue tips and his eyes were ringed with black. The kid did not speak so Sam took the lead and told him that he was a DEA agent and wanted to ask him a few questions. The kid remained silent but shifted nervously.

“Uh, my parents aren’t home dude.”

That’s okay; I really wanted to talk to you.”Sam countered.

“So okay, ask.”

“May I come in?”

“Uh, no dude, like I said, my parents aren’t here.”

“All right. I understand you go to Stormy Meadows High, is that correct?”

“Yeah.”

“Is your name Paul Hammond?”

“Yeah.”

“So do you know Steve Cooper also a student there?”

“Um, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Well we had Spanish together is all. I didn’t hang out with the guy or anything.”

“You knew that he is on the football team at Stormy Meadows?”

“Um, yeah, I guess”

“Did you know he broke his ankle last week?”

Sam watched him tremble almost undetectably and avert his eyes from Sam’s. Bingo! We have a winner. Sam had seen that look before and knew he was on the right track.

“Why are you asking me about Steve? I barely knew the dude.”Sam definitely knew this kid was hiding something now and he was determined to find out what it was.

“We are asking a lot of people questions about a lot of things going on lately. For instance someone told us Steve had been bullying you.”

At this there was a noticeable quiver in Paul’s demeanor. He shifted his eyes, and then offered, “Well he was kind of an ass. He messed with a lot of kids, not just me.”

“We heard that you were a regular whipping boy of his, that he has been hounding you since grade school. Is that true?”

“Like I said, the dude was an ass. Anyone that was not in his circle was a target for him.”

“But, he singled you out more often, didn’t he? We heard he tripped you frequently in the halls, knocking things out of your hands and was really hard on you in gym. Is that true?”

“Well, yeah. But I wasn’t the only one.”

“Okay, who else did he have it out for?”

“Man, anyone that got in his way. Have you seen how big he is? He’d just plow through anyone he wanted to. He and that muscle bound group of gorillas he hangs out with.”

“So by now you should be pretty fed up with him, right?”

“Hey, I just tried to stay out his way, you know what I mean, dude?”

“Is it true he pants’ed you in the locker room last week?”

“Yeah, that’s no big secret. Half the school knew about that by the end of the day.”

“So, I guess that was something that made you pretty mad?”

“Yeah, but..”

Right then Sam’s phone rang. It was Dean. “Man, you gotta see this! Come on around to the back of the garage. You getting anywhere with the geek?”

“Yes sir. That is an affirmative. What are we looking at?”

“Found their clubhouse dude.”

Sam brightened. He knew they were on to something here. He looked back at Paul and said, “We’re not done with you yet. Stay close. I will be getting right back to you.”

He excused himself, walked out to the sidewalk and doubled back behind the neighbor’s shrubs to the back alley. The back door was slightly ajar so he eased in to the garage and saw what Dean had found. The kid had an old couch and chairs in a circle with a sort of altar on a central table. There were the makings of hex bags on the shelves in a cupboard nearby. 

“This is witch central Sammy. What didya get out of the kid?”

“Well, he definitely had a reason to want to get back at the kid with the broken ankle, and he was obviously hiding something.”

The brothers went over the area, trying to find names or other information to lead them to the Head witch. While they were scoping the garage out, Paul had freaked out and called Ms. Snider.

“Hey, those DEA dudes are over here. I think they went out back. What should I do?”

“Keep them there til I get there!”

“How do I do that?”

“Paul! Grow a pair and move it! Figure it out. Keep an eye on them or distract them until I get there.”

Paul grabbed a hex bag from his personal stash and crept out the back door, that one dude was huge, but maybe he could slow them down. And besides these were government dudes. He’d just tell them he was into growing herbs or something. What would they know about witch stuff? He made his way out to the garage and went in though the door facing the house.

Sam and Dean turned to him and Sam queried, “What is all this Paul?”

“Oh, me and my friends like to hang out here, ya know, private and away from the parents.”

“So what do you guys do out here?”

“Not much, just hang.”

“What is all this stuff in the cupboard?” Dean gestured at the paraphernalia. “Doesn’t look like pot.”

“No man, no drugs man. We’re just into ya know, natural herbs and stuff.”

Dean wanted the kid to admit what was really going on so they could put an end to the witch behind all of the chaos, so he pressed him. “We know that you and some other kids are practicing witchcraft. Just tell us who is your head witch man, and you will get a break. You need to know that using magic never ends well, trust me. So just tell us!”

Just then Ms Snider slipped in the side door, “Gentlemen, can I help you with something? I can assure you that Paul is really a good kid. Just normal teenage issues, no drugs. I can vouch for him.”

“Paul, what is she doing here?” Sam questioned. “Did you call her and tell her we were here? Were you afraid of us finding out what is going on?”

“Again, gentlemen, Paul is a good kid. I can vouch for him.” Ms Snider countered as she eased further into the room, trying to herd the men out of the door. This did not have to be messy; she had a sweet set up at Sunny Meadows, and these two suits were not going to ruin it for her.

By now Sam and Dean were on to her and nodded at one another. Oh, it was on. This bitch was going down. They had warding signs painted on their chests and amulets around their necks; they were on their game as usual. However they were not aware how sadistic of a bitch they were hunting. She had enchantments hidden in the room, ready for use should she need them. Spells that would cause intense pain and then death to anyone that got close to her secret. She was cultivating a large coven that she would rule over. Two little maggots were insignificant to the power that she wielded

Dean was in his usual offense is the best defense mode and tried to charge her. Sam was circling behind her. The sorceress was unexpectedly powerful. She raised both hands stretching her palms and began to chant. Sam and Dean fell to the ground while Paul whimpered in the corner. The hunters’ chests began to tighten making them short of breathing, both gasping for air and turning blue.

At that there was a flutter of wings and the sudden appearance of Cas. Almost instantaneously there was a blast of light shooting out towards the witch. Unfortunately Dean was in front of her and Cas had misjudged the intensity of the blast. The witch took the brunt of it, collapsing immediately. As Cas surveyed the damage he viewed Dean unconscious and barely breathing against the wall where he had landed in a heap, bones twisted, his left leg mangled, with his femur shattered and protruding through the flesh. One glance at Sam and Cas was not worried about his current state, but Dean, his Dean was in dire straits. 

Mojo on board and Dean in his arms, Cas lifted him gently and placed two fingers on his forehead. Cas’ power entered the limp body, but the hunter did not revive. He was still and cold, barely breathing. The bones were healed, the leg and multiple crushed ribs, but it wasn’t enough. Dean was still in danger. There were internal injuries that had not responded to the angel’s ministrations and Cas was feeling drained. He needed to take care of his human, so he used what little power he had left to transport Dean to the motel room.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Cas was in misery seeing his human in this state. 

“Come on Dean. Please wake up!”

Cas continued to croon into Dean’s ear. “Dean, Dean. Please Dean; I need you to stay with me.”

Cas’ eyes were wide, watching the rise and fall of Dean’s chest with every single breath. He did not have enough of his mojo to heal Dean completely. He had always been able to save Dean and Sam before. Sam was fine. The witches spell had been targeted more at Dean so he took the brunt of it in his solar plexus, knocking him out, crushing his ribs. Cas had been able to knit the bones back together, but he knew there was more internal damage.

He had done all he could do. Now he had to wait. 

When they got to the motel room Dean was still cold to touch, his skin pallid, devoid of color, and his breathing was shallow. Cas anxiously watched to witness every breath that Dean took. His sighs were audible when he was convinced time and again with every ascending and descending movement of Dean’s ribcage, that Dean was still alive.

Cas could not imagine life on earth without his special human. He would give up everything for Dean. He left heaven to be with him. He had fought his own brothers and sisters, killed a few, in able to keep Dean safe. Now he was going to lose everything. His everything. He had no reason to exist without Dean.

It was then and there that Cas realized his bond with Dean was more than as a protector, fellow soldier or even his guardian angel.

In his head he could hear the words, “Dean is your one and only soul mate. He is yours. You have waited millennia just to be with him. You haven’t even told him how you feel, how important he is to you. He is a necessity. Dean is the air that you breathe; he is your nourishment that you cannot live without. He is part of you. He is your alpha and omega. Your beginning and your end. The love of your very long and ancient life. “

He needed to do something. 

He could not watch Dean die.

He needed to touch him. Castiel rubbed Dean’s hands, while he cradled him in his arms, trying to get the blood circulating. It wasn’t working. He was frantic. He needed some way to revive him. He placed Dean gently into the tub of the motel bathroom, put the plug in and proceeded to run a warm bath, all the while keeping an eye on Dean to make sure that he was okay and still breathing. He covered Dean’s heart with his hand and felt the weak but steady beat of his heart. 

With tenderness he bent over Dean and started to unbutton his shirt and then to gently remove all of the layers of clothing until Dean was stripped bare.

He whispered into his ear, “Stay with me Dean. Don’t leave me now Dean. Dean it’s Castiel. Please let me know if you’re there.”

When Dean was fully submersed in the steaming bath, Cas sat down on the edge and continued to rub his hands, chest, back of his neck while he kept up the litany of “Dean, Dean. I need you Dean. Stay with me Dean. Don’t you dare leave me Dean!”

Cas found a soft rag and some soap and started to clean the soot and grime from Dean’s mostly inert body. He took his time, covering every inch of Dean’s body with light caressing strokes. He was bent over the tub now, on his knees, supporting Dean’s head while he gently bathed him. There was so much ash and grime and Castiel gently removed every grain, layer by layer while cradling Dean in his arm, soaping and rinsing, using light pressure to not inflict any more pain on the various developing bruises over most of Dean’s perfect body.

Periodically he would add more hot water, keeping the temperature high enough to warm Dean up without scalding him. He found some shampoo in Sam’s kit and washed the grit and sawdust out of Dean’s hair. His touch remained tender, caressing Dean’s skin and scalp, worshipping him with his hands. 

Cas had been tenderly ministering Dean for what seemed like hours when Dean’s eyes flickered, igniting hope into Cas’ innermost being.

He became more earnest in his chanting, getting a little louder and insistent. “Dean, come on. Wake up for me. Dean, let me know that you can hear me, stay with me Dean!”

Cas was hopeful, but tense. He was racking his brain for anything that he could do to get Dean to listen; to come back to him. And then an intense peace enveloped him. He knew what Dean needed to hear from him. The words he had left unspoken due to his pride.

The truth.

He admitted to himself finally that this had always been true. 

He’d always known but was too afraid of rejection or losing Dean as a friend to express himself. 

Now the words came tumbling out of him “Dean I love you. You, you, and only you. I love you. Come back to me. Do you hear me Dean? I love you!” 

The last three words whispered, close to Dean’s ear, like the earnest, sincere prayer of a devout man.

 

There was movement under the eyelids. There was struggling to gain consciousness; and then with a shake of his head and a grunt, Deans eyes opened, out of focus, but searching. 

 

“Dean, it’s me, Cas. Are you with me?”

“Cas!”Dean breathed, “It is you! I thought I was dreaming. Was that you calling my name?”

“Yes, Dean, I was… I’m right here, I’ve got you.”

“Ss good.”

For a moment it looked like Cas was losing him. He gently nudged him. “Dean, Dean, stay with me!”

Dean grunted, “Mnh, where’s Sam? Is he okay?”


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Of course Dean was worried about Sam. Cas reassured him, “Sam’s fine Dean, no injuries. He should be here soon. “I’m worried about you. Are you in pain? Where do you hurt?”

“I’m sore as fuck. Mnnh…. My chest feels like I’ve been hit by a Mac truck, and then another one hit me from the other side.”

“But where do you hurt Dean?”

“Where don’t I hurt? What happened back there? One minute I thought I had the bitch, the next thing I remember was a big flash and being knocked on my ass.”

“I am so sorry Dean. That was my fault. You were just too close when I annihilated her. I was trying to protect you and now you’re hurt.”

Cas’ blue eyes were dark with sadness. His chest was still tight, knowing that this was his fault that his human was suffering.

“Cas, ’m okay dude. ‘M just feeling a little foggy in the noggin. Guess your mojo did a job on me too. Just use some more and fix me, why don’t cha?” 

“Dean, I used all the power that I had repairing your bones, the blast apparently crushed several of them. My power is slowly fading and I don’t have much left,” Cas said with a regretful timbre to his voice. 

Dean shivered. Cas concerned look never left his face. The hot water was not enough to full warm Dean. The air was cooling him off too much. 

Cas still had Dean cradled in his arms. He whispered “Hold on, I’ve got you.”

Cas lifted Dean and carried him in to the motel room and laid him gently on the bed. He toweled him off quickly and efficiently and then covered him with the blankets from the second bed, tucking it in so that Dean was basically swaddled in multiple layers. Cas ran his hand along Dean’s jaw down his neck. He was still cold, even though the room was warm, actually steamy from all the hot water and the heat on high. He needed to do something! While Cas was deliberating Dean moaned and shivered all at the same time with his teeth chattering loudly.

“Cas buddy. Are you there?”

Without hesitation Cas started stripping his clothes off, all of them, then lifted the blankets and crawled in next to Dean, clinging closely to him, willing his warmth into the shivering hunter. He slid one arm under Dean’s head and wrapped the other and the length of his whole body against Dean’s back annealing his skin to Dean’s.

“Mmmm….so warm. I feel you man. Cas, don’t leave me. Too cold, ‘m toooo coold.” The words rattled between his teeth. 

Cas snuggled Dean tightly, skin to skin, sighing and settling in to where he belonged, next to his human. He nuzzled Dean’s neck, breathing warm air into his skin, feeling Dean lean back into him and moving his arm up to Cas’ chest. 

“I’m not going anywhere Dean. I’m right here with you.”

Cas couldn’t help himself, smelling Dean, being closer than he’d ever been to him. Even though he was scared for Dean, his aroma invaded his senses, and Cas started touching his lips to Dean’s cold skin. He placed small feathery kisses, with soft lips, all up and down his neck. He inhaled Dean’s scent, swallowed it into his mouth. He was so hungry for this touch. Now that he was here he was determined to stay here. 

He whispered soft breathy phrases into Dean’s ear. “I’m here Dean. I love you. I’m never leaving you again. My true place is with you. I don’t know how to live without you. You are mine. I am totally yours. Stay with me.”

With every word, their bodies came closer. Dean was now breathing steadily, possibly asleep. Cas didn’t care if Dean heard him or not. He was through with denying how he felt about Dean. He needed him to know that he loved him. Dean was peaceful now. Cas could feel the stable, even rise and fall of his chest against him. His skin was warmer. The light of hope burned bright in Cas’ heart. Dean had turned a corner. He willed Dean to heal as he persisted with the litany of his professed love for Dean and the soft rain of kisses on his rough, stubbly skin of his cheek and neck.

Cas kept watch over Dean all night, never leaving his side. Dean whimpered and groaned, sometimes jerking awake. Cas would speak softly with a measured cadence into Dean’s ear, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here, Dean. I love you.”He persisted telling him again and again that he was of value, that he loved him, that he was always going to be at his side. He could feel the change in Dean when he heard Cas cooing to him. He would relax and nestle snuggle back into Cas’ warmth.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Just as the sun was coming up Cas heard a key in the door. He stiffened, alert, ready to spring up if needed. It was just Sam.

“Dean? Cas? You guys here?’

Sam turned one of the lamps on. Cas got his attention and shook his head, signaling Sam not to wake Dean. 

“It’s been touch and go Sam. He’s better now, but I don’t know how much damage has been done,” he whispered, nodding at Dean. “He was so very cold, but he’s warming up. I was able to knit his bones back together, but I ran out of mojo, so he’s still extremely bruised inside and out. He’s better now.”

“What can I do?” Sam couldn’t just stand by and do nothing.

“We will all need nourishment after you sleep. Go and acquire what is best for Dean when he wakes up. We will need to feed him.”

Almost as an afterthought, Cas whispered loudly to Sam as he was going out the door, “Get pie! Dean likes pie!”

Sam nodded to Cas with a quirky grin and went out, closing the door quietly. Something had changed. When he saw the two snuggled up together he had grinned and thought maybe this is it. Hopefully the dumb asses were going to finally admit to each other what everyone else could see. He knew his brother. He noticed the way he looked at Cas. It was almost funny the way Dean was fixated on Cas, but had never admitted to more than brotherly feelings toward the angel. Cas was always reminding Sam of the profound bond the two shared, and it was all making sense now. Oh well, their life had never been normal. This was just proof again that the Winchesters led extraordinary lives.

Later that afternoon Dean began to stir. With a large groan he lifted his head and opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a tumble of dark mussed up hair that he had been breathing into. He had turned to face the angel in his sleep. 

“Mmmn. Cas, is that you buddy?”

As he spoke the words Dean realized that it was indeed Cas and they were laying tightly wound around each other, and that they were totally naked. He startled a little bit, thinking both that it was probably a dream, it could not be real, also that it felt really, really good. He felt all warm and secure even though his body was seething with pain. He must have taken a big hit.

When he spoke Cas lifted his head and purred, swear to god purred, while he lifted his baby blues up and focused on Dean’s verdant greens. A small smile bloomed on his face and he looked tentatively at Dean, trying to decipher how Dean was reacting to their closeness. Cas was concerned that once again rejection might be lurking close ahead.

“Dean, how are you?” Cas murmured anxiously.

“’M okay I guess. Sore as hell. What happened?”

While Cas was collecting his thoughts he swore he felt Dean leaning into him even closer. They had been wrapped so tight together Cas didn’t see how they could get any closer.

Now he knew.

Dean felt right there also. 

He was his.  
He wasn’t going to be rejected, but was trying to choose his words carefully. He didn’t want to say anything to spook Dean. 

“It’s my fault Dean. I was trying to help. I blasted you as well as the witch. I should have been more careful. I never meant to hurt you. I would never hurt you Dean. “

“Ss okay buddy. Umm, so why are we, umm, like this?”

“Oh, you were very cold and I was trying to warm you up.”

“Well, I think it worked” Dean whispered as he felt his cock twitch up against Cas’ groin. Cas’ body responded to Dean’s with his own burgeoning erection. Cas felt Dean angling his hips in closer, leaving no space between them, both of them stiffening with the not so subtle friction. Dean was a very physical person; Cas had always known that about him and longed for Dean’s touch. 

It was really happening now. Cas moaned and tucked his head under Dean’s and whispered” I love you Dean.”

“I know man, love you too. Sorry it took so long.”

Cas raised his head and sought out Deans lips. He had been thinking about those plump lips for so long and now they were there, right in front of him. He looked up at Dean, sighed and leaned in to savor the taste of them. Dean responded with soft, sweet pressure, sliding in to Cas’ lips with urgency. He was at home in his angel’s arms. Soft at first, but the need was so repressed that even though the kiss started soft it became wild and aggressive; their lips and mouths seeking out the taste of each other.

It was then that Sam yawned, groaned and sat up in bed and said, “Hey guys! You awake? How’s Dean?”

Dean groaned to himself, while Cas giggled. He rolled his eyes and grumbled, “‘M fine Sammy. I’m just great!” with loads of sarcasm dripping off of his tongue. 

Sam got up out of his bed and came over to sit closed to Dean and hugged him. 

“Ooof. ‘m sore Sammy!”

“I’m just so glad you’re going to be okay. I knew Cas would fix you, but you looked really bad last night, all blue and bruised. How’re you feeling now?”

“Still a little blue” he winked at Cas, “and definitely bruised. Sore all over, man” Cas snorted a little and grinned up at Dean. 

“Are you hungry? ‘Cause I got you pie.” 

“Yeah, yeah. “m hungry Sam, give us a minute, will ya?”

“No problem. I got to go to the can anyway.”

“And Dean?”

“Yeah Sammy.”

“I’m glad you’re going to be okay.”

“Me too Sammy, me too.”

After Sam closed the door, Dean leaned in and gave Cas a long tender kiss which led to a barrage of several more small ones. Cas hummed with pleasure, trembling with anticipation and what this was leading too. Dean grumbled when Cas pulled away and got out of the bed to dress. Even though Sam would be back soon he dressed very slowly, knowing that Dean was watching his every move. Dean’s eyes moved hungrily over the angel’s lithe and muscled body that was so recently snug up against his. Cas then looked through Dean’s gear, finding a soft t-shirt and jogging pants, something that would be less rough on Dean’s sorely bruised body. 

Cas just grinned and continued to dress Dean with slow steady movements, trying to inflict as little pain as possible to Dean’s battered body.

He came to Dean’s side, helping him to sit up on the side of the bed. He started to dress him, but Dean tried to push him away.

“Can do it myself” he said even as he winced with pain and a sharp intake of breath with every movement. 

“Dean! I’m just trying to help. Won’t you let me? I promise you can undress me the next time” he quipped looking into Deans eyes with a salacious grin on his face. That look was all it took and Dean was a goner. That look melted him and tingled all the way down to his groin which was already half hard.

“Why Cas, you’re a kinky bastard aren’t you?” Dean replied with a stilted laugh as he tried not to move his chest.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Soon they were on the road back to the bunker, Sam driving, Dean lying across Cas’ lap in the back. Sam kept stealing curious looks back at the pair, sensing the change between them. Cas was openly embracing Dean, gently stroking his face, arms knit closely around him, supporting and cushioning him from any jarring during the long drive. Dean had a blissful look on his face, even though Sam knew he must be struggling with the pain.

Once they got back to the bunker, Sam and Cas braced themselves under each of Dean’s arms and got him on to his bed with as little trauma as possible. Sam also made sure Cas had their stash of pain killers to keep Dean partly anesthetized while he recuperated. After settling in Cas announced to Sam he would be staying with Dean to watch over him in case he should need anything during the night. To Sam that was the same as Cas had always done, but it was different too. The look on Cas’ face was secretive and shy. Yep, Sam knew something had definitely changed. 

The next few days consisted of Cas going in and out of Dean’s room periodically to bring him food and drink, staying in the room with him the rest of the time. He would go with Dean to help him bathe. Sam offered to help, Cas always declined but made sure Sam kept Dean’s favorite foods and beverages in good supply. Sam noticed Cas’ hair being just as damp as Dean’s when they would come out from getting a shower, so it was easy to surmise that they were showering together. After several days of relative quietness, things erupted into shouting and the sound of things being thrown. Dean must be feeling better. 

“Cas, get out of my ass! I can do it myself!”

Cas came in to the kitchen looking like a wounded animal, pupils dark and frowning. 

“Dude, let me help. He can be a real bear when he’s on the mend.”

Cas threw up his hands and let Sam go into the lion’s den.”I wouldn’t go unarmed if I were you, Sam.”

When Sam went into Dean’s room he was sitting on the side of the bed with his shirt and boxers on and his jeans in his hands. He was bending over and growling at the pants, struggling to get them on his feet. 

“Hey, let me help you man.”

“I can do it myself Sam.”

“I know you can, but let me help. And by the way, you hurt Cas’ feelings. He hasn’t really rested in days trying to take care of your sorry ass.”

“I know, it’s just… Oh hell!” Dean huffed as he nearly fell trying to get a pants leg on.

Sam bent over and eased the pants up far enough so Dean could finish the job, gave him a hand up and let him lean on him as they headed toward the bathroom. Several minutes later Dean came shuffling into the kitchen where Cas was putting things away. Sam watched as Dean came up slowly behind Cas, encircled him in a tender hug, leaned into his ear and said something so low Sam couldn’t make it out. Cas turned his head and leaned his forehead against Dean’s with a tentative smile. Dean looked up at him sheepishly and drew him into a soft, slow kiss. 

“Well it’s about damn time!”Sam yelled.

“Shut up gigantor.”Dean returned softly while nuzzling into Cas’ neck, holding him closely, moving with him as he worked.

It got a little weird after that. They fell in to a daily pattern of eating, bathing, sleeping, reading, watching a little TV while Dean was recuperating which felt natural. Sam got restless and found a hunt he hoped, at least he was going to go and see if it was. He was tired of being cooped up with those two and he was starting to feel some unaddressed tension. He felt it was best if he left them alone to figure out this thing between them. 

Nothing had really happened yet between Cas and Dean. They slept together so there was a lot of cuddling and making out, but whenever it got too close to being very physical Dean would stop, push Cas away and say he was sorry, he just wasn’t ready. It wasn’t that Dean hadn’t pictured having sex with Cas in his mind. Of course he had. Cas was the star in most of his day and night time fantasies over the last several years. It started with brief, fleeting thoughts about Cas. Thoughts he did not think he would ever have about another man. He knew that Cas did not really have an assigned sex, but he was in Jimmy Novak’s meat suit, and it most definitely was male. Dean saw himself as the quintessential ladies’ man. He could get laid just about any time he had the need. He had developed some very good moves and was a world class flirt. 

Then this fucker came into his life. Absofuckinlutely bigger than life and a badass to boot. At first he was a little in awe of Cas, then they became friends. Later he became Cas’ teacher in the ways of the world. Hell, he even tried to help the poor bastard out by trying to get him laid. That did not turn out well. He even tried to help Cas out with a date. That did not go well for Cas either. There was so much that they had gone through together. Cas had done a lot for and with Dean. They fought together, strategized, fought against each other and through it all Dean knew Cas was family.

When the lusting started he could not pinpoint. He knew it started out with a few fleeting lascivious thoughts. Who wouldn’t swoon over a hero type like Cas? The fantasies became longer, more vivid, making him sweat and squirm with desire. He’d thought about Cas a lot when he needed a way to release the pressure. Then he became obsessed with the guy. Women were still great and all. Loving women all your life doesn’t just vanish into thin air. But at some point he found that he did not think about anyone but Cas when he was aroused. It made it hard to be around him at times. He couldn’t let himself get distracted by the guy when they were in the middle of saving the world. Dean assumed this was just another part of him that was warped. He had so much wrong with him; this was just one more thing. 

Sometimes in the middle of a hunt he would catch himself looking at Cas and he just knew Cas was reading his mind, using his angel powers to see into his soul. He would shake it off, but then there were all of those times when he would catch Cas looking at him with what looked like longing. He just figured it was Cas not realizing he was staring or that he was invading his personal space. He also knew that Cas was supposed to be his protector or something. Hadn’t someone told Cas to get him out of hell, maybe even God. When Dean started to realize it was more than lust, more than loving him like a brother, he thought it was just too weird. An angel of the lord and little old Dean Winchester, general fuck up and broken human that he was did not make sense. He was certain Cas did not feel the same way about him. Cas had never expressed much interest in sex anyway. So what was Dean doing obsessing over him all of this time?

Now things had changed, Cas and he had expressed their feelings to one another. Now things were too real. On the one hand Dean enjoyed all of the time that they were spending together. All the little touches as they walked by each other, kissing and holding each other at night. And Dean was really aroused by Cas, the make out sessions were getting more desperate each time. He’d excused himself to the bathroom three times yesterday to do by himself what he wanted but could not do with Cas. Here he was again sitting in the bathroom with his head in his hands, not bothering to jerk off, just waiting for his erection to fade. God Damn Cas was patient, but he’d also seen the frustration on his face when Dean pushed him away or was it hurt? Cas always let Dean take the lead, not forcing anything. And, hell Cas was more than ready. He’d just left him in his bed with a major hard on and a large wet spot on his boxers. They had been grinding up against each other with abandon until Dean had gotten inside his own head again.

Okay Dean, suck it up! Loving Cas does not mean you are gay! And God Dammit you love every inch of the feathery bastard. What is wrong with you? You love him, not his sex. But he is one hot, sexy angel. And he is your hot, sexy angel! Nut up Dean and go get him tiger. Dean took a deep breath; got up and walked quietly back to his room. 

“Hey Cas?”

“Yes Dean.”

Dean crawled in to bed and scooted close to Cas, throwing his arm around him. Cas had his back turned away from him, but rolled over when Dean snuggled up.

“I’m sorry Cas. I’m an idiot.”Dean leaned his forehead over to touch Cas’ breathing in the warmth and muskiness of him. 

“What is it Dean? What can I do to help?”

“It’s just me, I’m fuckin broken.”

Cas waited, trying not to push Dean, letting him get there on his own. Finally Dean confessed. He took a large gulp of air and then the words just tumbled out of him. 

“I’m afraid of it being too real. Afraid I’ll fuck it up. No relationship has ever ended well for me Cas. I care so much for you. I don’t want to ruin this between us. I’m afraid that if we have sex you won’t like it, and you won’t stay with me. I’m afraid of hurting you physically. I don’t know how to make love to a man; I got good at sex with women. Damn good, but you, you’re such a badass and so what are you doing with me. I don’t mean to push you away, but I don’t know what I’m doing. Cas, I’m scared.”

“I’m scared too Dean. I’ve never physically loved anyone. But I‘ve always loved you. We can figure this out together. I want you and you are making me crazy! My stomach is all tied in knots; I am aching for you Dean. I need you!”

“Need you too” Dean sobbed as he dove for Cas’ mouth, clinging to him for his life, drawing breath and life from him. Dean’s hand started travelling up and down Cas’ back, grasping his firm buttocks and pulling his hips in to Dean’s where both of their erections slid up against one another. Dean moved his knee into Cas’ groin, finding purchase near his hardness and started to slowly grind against him nice and easy, but with purpose. Dean only struggled for a moment. He had decided he knew what he liked and he figured Cas would like it too. 

“Babe, will you let me know if you are uncomfortable with anything I do? Just tell me to stop and I will.”

“Dean, just keep going! Don’t stop. I promise, I’ll tell you if I don’t like it.”

“Okay, babe. I’ve got you.”

Dean spread his hands across Cas’ chest, palms down, caressing and following the lines of his muscles, taking his time, stroking his skin with evocative pressure, not feathery touches, you could describe them as needy, almost clingy. Dean wanted Cas to feel his need, the need that was burning him up from the inside out. Cas was making a soft growling sound, more like a purr, while moving his hands up and down Dean’s back, all the way to his hair, running his fingers through it. 

Dean inched his hands slowly down to the top of his boxers currently clothing his angel. He hooked his fingers under the band and pulled them off of Cas, discarding them swiftly. He then started kissing Cas’ chest, taking his time, tasting his skin, covering every inch with soft wet kisses. He rubbed his hands up and down Cas’ sides while he made his way down, until he got to the rough patch of hair at his vee. Dean sunk his nose into the hair nuzzling it while Cas’ cock bobbed under his chin. He breathed in the smell of his angel, committing it to memory, inhaling the hypnotic aroma that is Cas. 

Cas began to arch his back, moaning and calling Dean’s name over and over, softly, like a prayer. 

“Okay baby, I’ve got you.” Dean purred as he moved to hover over the head of Cas’ cock, his chin already wet with the precum oozing out of Cas in a steady stream. Dean inhaled his scent again, feeling as if he could never get enough. Cas was his and he was going to take good care of him. He dipped and encircled the head of Cas’ cock with his lips eliciting a deep groan from Cas’ chest. He ran his tongue over the slit, lapping up all of the wetness, swirling his tongue around the head, and kissing it with big full mouth kisses, sucking the head softly, licking the head each time he went down again covering Cas with his lips. 

“Okay Deano. It’s now or never,” he said to himself as he took more of Cas into his mouth, swallowing him down, humming to himself, forgetting everything except Cas’ beautiful heavy cock that he was very happy to have his lips wrapped around, tasting him and feeling the solidness of it filling his mouth up. Cas’ was starting to buck his hips up, pushing his cock farther into Deans throat. Dean reached around and grabbed Cas’ ass, pulling him in, working himself up and down the shaft. He came all the way off, got a big breath and went back working Cas over in earnest, licking along the shaft from the base to the tip, ending with sucking around the t  
ip.   
“Dean, Dean. Please, it’s so much!”

“Mnn, mnn. You are so good baby. You taste so good.”

Dean grasped the base of Cas’ cock, curling his fist around the now spittle slicked organ, slowly starting to pump up and down in cadence with the movements of his lips down Cas’ shaft. Cas responded by fucking himself into Deans hand, all the while Dean was steadily sucking up and down his length.

Dean was doing what he always loved having done to him and Cas was responding, falling apart, movements becoming erratic. Dean kept up the pace feeling Cas trembling movements, his thrusting becoming jerkier. Dean knew what was coming and didn’t let up. He’d know that reaction anywhere and was sure Cas was ready to come. He braced himself for the moment of truth, never quitting, pumping and sucking Cas with a steady rhythm. Cas came undone, shouting Dean’s name, hot liquid shooting to the back of Dean’s throat. He kept his lips wrapped around Cas, swallowing him and his emission all the way down. Dean knew what it would taste like, he had tasted himself before, but he wasn’t fully ready for the spasms of warm come spurting in his mouth. He was proud of himself, he caught every bit and continued to suck Cas down until he was drained, collapsing onto Dean and holding on as if he was falling and Dean was the only thing holding him up.

Dean worked his way back up Cas’ torso, he placed light, wet kisses all the way up his chest, then neck and stubbly chin to his soft, chapped lips. He gave him a long, slow, wet kiss, knowing that Cas’ was now tasting himself in Dean’s mouth. 

“How’re ya doin’ buddy? You ok?”

“Unghhm. Dean! Mnn nnhm ‘m good Dean, ‘m good” Cas breathed out.

Dean wrapped Cas in his arms and pulled in closer to his angel, kissing him tenderly with his battered lips. He rubbed his hands up and down Cas’ back with enough pressure to keep the two of them lined up against each other. Dean was arching his hips upward, his own erection still crying out for attention. Dean was in no hurry, they had taken a long time to get here and he didn’t want to push Cas. Also he wasn’t really sure what he wanted. It was enough for him to have pleased his angel, wringing that orgasm out of him and taking care of him. 

“Dean?”

“Yeah buddy.”

“Would you like me to do that to you?” the huskiness of Cas’ voice caused a warm rush all the way down to Dean’s cock and he almost whined.

“Yes, Yes . Um you okay with that?” Dean responded softly.

“Dean, I would do anything for you. Yes I want to; will you help me, I tried to pay attention, but I…?”

“Yeah, I’ll help, just go ahead and I’ll let you know if it’s good. But hey, as a rule, no teeth, okay?”

“Mmm, mmm. No teeth.”

Cas started kissing his way down Dean’s chest, at a much faster rate than Dean had, he was an angel on a mission wanting to please Dean as much as Dean had pleasured him. When he reached the coarse patch of Dean’s hair he slowed down and mimicked Dean’s movements by nuzzling into him and inhaling him. The angel was not quiet in his appreciation of the human’s form, groaning and humming to himself with each breath he took, and using his tongue to taste along the way. He kissed and licked the grooves of Dean’s groin, down to his balls, sucking in a little at a time, savoring how Dean tasted and felt. 

Cas started tonguing from the bottom of Dean’s shaft, spreading his tongue out wide to cover as much as he could of his hunter’s turgid member. He lapped up around his length several times leaving the head for last. By now Dean was quivering and was ready for Cas to take him all in.

Cas had been doing great up til now, but Dean was getting impatient.

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean”

“Please, um, suck me man.”

“Like this?”

Cas ran his tongue up to the head, swirled around the tip, moaning when he got a taste of the ooze at the slit. Dean arched his back and moaned some --, in ecstasy as Cas finally took his cock into his mouth with his very spit slicked lips. His first few sucking motions were tentative, getting used to the feel in his mouth. 

With Dean’s urging he gradually took more into his mouth , working his way down Dean, sucking and slurping noisily , saliva running down his chin. Cas just kept going, not balking at his task but taking pride in the noises that were emanating from deep inside Dean. He wanted all of Dean in his mouth, but due to his size Cas was unable to get all the way down. He kept on sucking Dean as far down as he could, mimicking Dean’s movements, keeping his tongue wide and wrapped around him as he came back up to the head with his lips fastened around the shaft. 

Dean was getting close, but he was craving more friction. 

“Cas, take your hand and wrap it around the base of my cock buddy.”

Cas complied and Dean covered his hand with his own, showing how to move it up and down along with his mouth, there was no need for lubricant. He was sloppy wet with Cas’ spit.

“Not quite so tight buddy, just mmn, pressure but, mnnnnn, Oh yeah that’s mnn it.”

Cas was a quick study and before long Dean was arching his back, thrusting into Cas’ palm. Just a few more strokes and Dean was coming, grasping the mussed up dark head and pulling him in to his groin. Dean came hard, shouting his angel’s name, feeling it down to his toes, knowing that he had found his heaven.

Cas choked a little when Dean’s come hit the back of his throat, but rallied and lapped all of the come he could find, cleaning Dean with his tongue and working his way back up to Dean’s mouth, kissing him like Dean had done, sharing his taste with him. He nuzzled Dean’s ear and spoke in his low gravelly voice, “Was that okay Dean?”

“Mnn baby. It was sooo good! I might just have to keep you.”

“I’m not going anywhere Dean. I’m staying right here with you.”

“Yes you are, yes you are. Mine. Mine. Mine.”

They sought out each other’s lips kissing tenderly, but with a hunger and need that neither one of them could deny. Petting and cuddling and trying to get as close to one another as they could, finally drifting off to a peaceful sleep for Dean and his angel as Cas’ powers were now so low that he needed the restorative powers of a deep sleep. They stayed wrapped up in each other until morning.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight 

The next few months were spent business as usual. Dean was finally able to get out with his brother and angel to hunt alongside them. It took a while for him to feel physically back to himself, but he had continued working in the past feeling much worse. Cas had alluded to there being a lot of strife in Heaven and made frequent trips to help as much as he could. He always seemed to have more mojo when he came back, and he never stayed gone long.

They spent their down time exploring each other’s bodies and were getting very good at pleasing each other. They had not had sex yet; there was a lot of grinding against each other followed by either a blow or a hand job. The angel did not disappoint, Dean was delighted to find out. What Cas lacked in skill he more than made up for with his enthusiasm. Dean was still unsure about his own level of comfort with going any further. He was in unchartered territory, so he fell back into an area that he was a pro at. Porn. He used the internet to figure out how to go about taking care of his angel by using the intel in gay porn, and there was a lot of it. He had seen a lot of porn in his lifetime, he considered himself quite the connoisseur, having spent a lot of time exploring. But guy on guy action had never been his kink. Sure girl on girl, him and every other red blooded guy he knew was into that. This changed his whole life’s perspective, so he had a lot to learn. He was not sure who would end up being bottom or top, his main concern was pleasing Cas without hurting him.

The first time they had real sex was when Cas had just come back from a mission to heaven. Dean was beyond ready and majorly horny waiting for him. He had stocked up on lube, nothing fancy, just lots of it. They could figure out what worked for them as they went along. He also warned Sam that as soon as Cas got back he needed to make himself scarce if he didn’t want to be traumatized by what Dean anticipated would be a very vocal entry in to the land of gay sex. Cas was an unknown entity as far as how he would respond and Sam had repeatedly made it known that if the angel loving was occurring he wanted an advanced warning. As soon as Sam heard the flutter of wings he was out the door.

Dean enveloped Cas in his arms, nibbled on his neck and was reassured by Cas that he was okay. “Follow me” he breathed into Cas’ ear as he took his hand and led him into the bathroom. First he removed the trench coat, then the tie, and continued to peel his clothes off slowly while leaving small feathery kisses along his neck and then his chest. He got the water in the walk in shower to a comfortable temperature and eased Cas in as he quickly undressed himself. 

“Mmm, Dean. I really like water. It’s one of my favorite things about earth.” he purred. Dean stepped in behind Cas, wrapped his arms around his waist and slid his body up against Cas’ back. Dean washed Cas with some musky body wash, taking his time as he worshipped his angel’s body. Cas leaned into Dean, murmuring his appreciation for the hunter’s touch. When Dean had paid sufficient attention to Cas, the angel returned the favor and turned into Dean, lathering him up as well, exploring his body with caressing, gentle touches. Both of them had become hard and their kisses and touches became more urgent with time. Soon Dean pulled Cas out of the shower and they dried each other off with the towels Dean had laid out. Dean used a towel wrapped behind Cas’ back to pull him in for a long, wet kiss, using his tongue to reach in to the soft comfort of Cas’ mouth. When he eased out he put his forehead onto Cas; and murmured, “You ready buddy?”Cas nodded his assent and Dean led them to his room. 

Dean was both apprehensive and eager causing him to tremble as he guided Cas gently on to the bed. He had been so horny while Cas was gone and yet he was determined to take his time and make this special for both of them. The angel was looking up at Dean with an even more intense version of the way he had been looking at Dean for years, as if he was penetrating inside Dean, hungry for his essence. The bed was turned down, lubricant ready at the bedside, the light was naturally low and the room was slightly warm. Dean had tried to get all of the little details just right so they would not be distracted. 

Cas on his back eased his way up toward the head of the bed, Dean following closely on his knees, while gazing down and hovering above him. You could see him salivating, greedily eyeing his angel with a predatory gleam in his eye. The decision was made at that very moment, Dean was topping and he was beyond ready, his cock red, full and leaking precome. He descended onto Cas, wrapping him in his arms and kissing him with fervor. Cas angled his hips into Dean’s, meeting him with his own desire, eager, wanting. Groaning Dean kissed his way down Cas’ chest with big wet kisses, grabbing Cas’ ass and pulling him in as they slid their full, straining and leaking cocks against each other.

“Dean, I, I’m ready, ready for you, need you!” Cas whimpered, his tone saturated with want.

“I gotcha buddy, gonna take good care of you” Dean returned retrieving the bottle of lube. He filled his fingers and motioned with the back of his hand for Cas to spread his legs, easing them apart. He then brushed his finger gently against Cas’ hole making him suck in a large breath.

“You okay Cas, I mean is this okay?”

“Mnn, nnh, Dean, ‘s good.”

Dean took it slowly, using light pressure in a circular pattern to massage the sensitive area. He felt Cas relax with the repetitive motion, swirling and increasing the pressure little by little as he placed soft kisses into the creases of Cas’ groin. Cas breathing was steady, Dean monitoring every sound and movement he made so he would know how to go forward. He used gentle pressure with his index finger to finally ease into the tight pucker of Cas’ hole which elicited a soft moan from each of them. Dean then eased it back out and proceeded with the swirling motion alternating with working his finger in a little bit at a time and bringing it back out, nice and easy. Cas was pliant, relaxed and starting to roll his hips toward Dean’s touch. 

Dean kept up the slow and steady pace until he was all the way inside Cas, feeling the softness of his wall.

“So good for me Cas. So good for me sweetheart.”

The more Cas thrusted the bolder Deans’ moves became.”Okay baby, gonna add another, nice and slow.”

“More Dean, want more….mnnn. Dean!”

So Dean gave his angel what he wanted and slid the second finger in, Cas keening with pleasure.

“You okay baby?”

“Unh, nnh. ‘M good.”

Dean continued the steady pace softly working Cas’ hole wider, trying not to get impatient. He was beyond ready and wanted nothing more than to be inside his angel, but it was not in him to cause Cas any pain. He bent his head into Cas’ crotch, nuzzling and kissing the tender skin, breathing in his scent. Cas was opening up, taking the third finger with soft moans, working his ass into the hardness, needy and starting to grumble, “Please Dean. Please, I need, need, please?”

“Okay baby, I gotcha. Gonna make it good for you, nice and slow, don’t want to hurt you.”

“More Dean, need you.”

Cas was driving him wild with his begging, so Dean tried to ease the fourth finger in and Cas thrust his hips down on Dean’s fingers with a growl.”Ready for you Dean, need you..NOW Dean, need you now.”

Dean could no longer resist his angel’s pleas and reached for the lube, using a large amount and stroking it on to his unattended cock.

“Dean?”

“I gotcha buddy.” Dean soothed as he positioned his cock at Cas’ entrance, rubbing the head into the hole. He pushed in a little ways in watching Cas who’s head was tilted back, not braced just open and ready. “Cas, buddy, look at me. Wanna see you, wanna see you looking at me now.”

Cas looked up with longing in his baby blues, Dean basking in his gaze.

“Love you Cas.”

“I love you Dean.”

This was Dean’s cue to carry on, so he moved forward gradually, gliding in to Cas with a river of lube and desire, his girth stretching into Cas’ tightness. When he bottomed out he remembered to let Cas adjust to the fullness, not wanting this to end and yet fighting the urge to pound into him. Cas visibly relaxed and started to cant his hips upward, fucking himself onto Dean.

“Guess you’re ready, huh buddy.”

“Yes, Dean. Quit treating me like a porcelain doll and fuck me. I need you to fuck me.”

Dean was caught a little off guard with the intensity of Cas’ filthy request, but took him at his word and started smoothly thrusting into him. He was slow and steady at the beginning, but when Cas grabbed his ass with both hands and pulled him in, Dean kind of lost it. This had been years in the making, so hard to hold back when all he wanted was to fuck himself up into his angel. Dean pressed himself into Cas’ chest, their eyes meeting, lowering his body to gain access to Cas’ mouth and continuing his firm and relentless assault into Cas’ tightness. At this angle there was pressure on Cas’ cock as well and when Dean noticed it he made sure there was enough pressure for Cas to feel friction there as well. He wanted Cas to come first, wanted to take care of him, make it good for him.

Dean was getting close, Cas was so damn tight, he was losing it, watching Cas respond under him, seeing him like that was the hottest thing he had ever seen. He had felt Cas’ prostate when fingering him and tried to aim in the general direction with his thrusts. He knew he had found it when there was a gasp and wanton, filthy language spewing out of Cas’ mouth. Dean knew his baby was close so he kept aiming at that sensitive spot, trying to make his baby come, and come he did with Dean’s name pouring out of his mouth. As Cas came he clenched down around Dean’s dick causing his sweet release with Cas’ name on his lips, Dean continued to thrust, riding out the waves of their orgasms together, finally dissolving into a heap of slick, sweaty man and angel parts.

Dean’s body was loose and heavy and he rolled onto his side, pulling Cas into his chest, spooning him and huffing out sweet nothings into Cas’ ear. “Love you so much buddy.”

“I love you too Dean.”

The sound and rhythm of their breathing synced and they drifted off soon pressed up together, legs tangled and the sweat cooling their hot skin.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Cas was up before Dean, he had to ease himself out of Deans octopus arms. Heaven was calling and he smelled like sex. He mojoed himself clean and into his clothes and was on his way after kissing Dean’s forehead and rubbing the top of his head, running his finger through the man’s short hair. Dean smelled like sex too and Cas liked the smell left from their coupling. He didn’t want to go, but it was urgent, and so he vowed to himself he would be back soon. He had not had nearly enough time with Dean, and Cas wanted more. His new favorite thing about earth was sex with Dean.

Dean woke to an empty bed and got up with a groan calling for Cas. He could not find him anywhere in the bunker so he prayed to him. No response. He phoned Sam.

“So is it safe to come home now? Have you taken a break from all the gay sex?”

“Um, yeah Sammy. It’s safe. Um, have you heard from Cas today? He wasn’t here when I got up.”

“No Dean. Haven’t heard from him. What did you do? Did you scare him off? I know you. You must have done something.”

“No I don’t think so Sammy. Um, things went well, I mean he didn’t give me any reason to think he was upset or anything.”

“Did you call him; pray to him or whatever it is you do to get his attention?”

 

“Yeah, um, I tried calling and I prayed. Feathery son of a bitch just left without a word. After last night I thought he would, um, respond. I think something’s up. I can feel it. ”

“You’re probably just paranoid Dean, but I’ll head back and see what we can come up with.”

“Thanks Sammy.”

Cas had left without warning before. This felt different to Dean. This time there was no notice when he left, no warning, nothing known amongst the hunters or any of the demons that they encountered. No angel buzz at all. Sam helped Dean ask around, they did research, looked for signs, tried to contact the angels, but there was not a single lead. Dean prayed every day to Cas and rarely slept. As time went by he became more frustrated and felt powerless.

Cas and he had finally become close and now he had vanished without a trace.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Fall 1995

The only time in his life he had felt so defenseless and ineffective was when Sammy at age twelve nearly died. Their Dad was off the reservation, he had gone on a hunt and there was no way to contact him. Dean had been beside himself and totally in over his head when he was left yet again to take care of his baby brother. Sam had almost died and it was his fault. He ended up on a ventilator in the intensive care unit and his Dad was nowhere to be found. John had left them plenty of times, but that time Sammy almost died, and at sixteen Dean had felt powerless. That was when Mia had entered into his life, an oasis of support and he would have not survived without her. He needed her now. He’d never been back to see her, but she was always there in his mind, knowing she had saved him in more ways than she would ever know. His total desperation drove Dean back to the one place he truly felt taken care of after his mother died. 

It all started when their Dad had left for a hunt or a bender, they never knew which. Dean was left in charge of Sam again, somewhere in southern Illinois, bored out of their minds holed up in one more cheap hotel room with low funds. The weather was at that perfect point in time at the end of summer, almost into fall when it was warm with just a hint of coolness in the air signaling the change of the seasons. They didn’t bother to enroll in school. There was no telling how long they would be here and Dean was over feigning any interest in academics. The rest of the town’s kids had just started back so during the week day the place was like a ghost town.

They were getting stir crazy, Dean was ready to get on the road again, itching for a case, and Sam was pestering Dean about wanting to start school. Dean shot him down but knew he would have to distract him somehow. They had heard about a local swimming hole and Sam had been bugging him to try it out. So to placate him; Dean suggested they go for a swim. They were supposed to stay close to the motel in case their Dad came back in a hurry, he could get very unpleasant if he had to go to great pains to round them up. Dean though it was worth a shot and hell they had a phone. They both knew how to swim; they just didn’t get much of a chance to. There were a lot of things they missed out on living on the road as they did. So when Dean suggested the outing Sammy had started jumping up and down like an excited puppy.

The swimming hole was just beyond the outskirts of town, down a dirt road. They found it by watching for signs of frequent use and pulled over when Dean was sure they had found it, the roadside well worn from vehicles moving in and out. No one was there now, so the boys grabbed some gear and headed down the path. It was only about a half mile out and looked perfect, the water looked deep and blue with rock walls on the far side. Sam started stripping as soon as they got close, Dean not far behind. The freedom they felt was worth it even if their Dad was pissed at them. 

They spent a half hour or so just goofing around near the edge, swimming a little way out, chasing each other, mostly flopping around. Sam challenged Dean to a race; they picked a point out towards the rocks and were off. It was a close race, Dean definitely had more muscle than Sam, but Sam was quick and light and got ahead of him. Dean overtook him at the turn around point, just a branch sticking up out of the water. Dean was smiling to himself as he bypassed his brother. Piece of cake. It would be a long time before Sam was able to best him physically so Dean was sure he could beat him. Ever protective brother that he was, he looked behind him to judge how far ahead he was and keep an eye on Sammy. But Sammy wasn’t there. His heart skipped a beat; surely Sammy was just messing with him, swimming under water. Dean took the bait and waited for him to surface so they could resume the race. There was no sign of Sam so in a panic he scanned the surface, looking for any sign. There, by the branch at the turn around point, he saw rippling at the surface. He took a big breath and swam with all of his might toward the branch and then dove grasping for any sign of his baby brother. If this was a joke, it was a pretty sick one. Sammy would pay for it. 

Time stood still. Dean became frantic. He tried to be calm conserving his breath so that he could find Sammy. On the second dive he felt Sam’s foot tangled in some fishing line hooked around the large branch. He broke the branch and hauled Sammy to the surface. He wasn’t breathing and they were not anywhere close to a solid surface. Dean pounded on Sammy’s chest, no easy feat in the water, but it worked on the third thrust. Sam sputtered, choking and gagging on the lake water; Dean exhaled with relief and wasted no time making for the shore, Sam’s limp body in tow.

As soon as Dean got to the shore he hauled Sam onto the ground and worked on his chest, thrusting upward on his chest all the while yelling “Sam, stay with me man. Don’t do this. Sam can you hear me?” He kept checking for breath sounds and finally he could detect a small rise in Sam’s chest, gurgling sounds escaping between his blue lips. Dean scooped Sam and their gear up in one fell swoop and carried them the half mile to the Impala. He put Sam in the front seat with his head on his lap so he could keep an eye on him on the way in to town, continually rubbing his chest and willing him to live. Sam’s breathing stayed shallow, but he was alive and there was no way Dean was going to let him die. He broke a few traffic laws but sped to the emergency room at the local hospital. Both boys were still in their wet boxers, dripping on the hospital floor as hospital staff came to Dean’s aid, standing there with tears streaming down his face while pleading for someone to help him. 

The nurses transported Sam into the back to work on him and would not allow Dean to come with them. One of the clerks on staff came and talked to Dean about Sam’s info and insurance. Dean told them some basic stuff then excused himself and went to collect some clothes and IDs from the car. He dressed quickly in the back seat and grabbed some fake cards representing Dean as Sam’s twenty two year old brother, even though he had just turned 16 this year. His Dad had made sure Dean had what he needed should any one of them need insurance, and also so Dean could act as an official presence for Sam when he wasn’t around. Dean approached the ER desk and handed over the information, getting forms to fill out, and questioning for any information he could get about his minor brother. One older red headed lady, whose name tag said Doris, took pity on Dean and offered to go find out whatever she could.

Dean paced back and forth in the waiting room, keeping an eye on the double doors to the patient area, sucking in air every time someone came through them, anticipating news about Sam. It had been at least thirty minutes since they had taken Sam to the back and no one had let him know a thing. He approached the desk again asking for information when the nice older lady, Doris, came up to him with a few encouraging words. Sam was alive but in serious condition. They had put him on a ventilator and once he was stable they would be moving him to the intensive care unit. She told Dean to wait there and someone would come to tell him more details.

Dean continued to pace in the waiting room, wringing his hands, knowing that John was going to rip him a new one. He had failed to protect his brother, all because they were bored. He was trying to give Sammy a taste of something normal and just look how it turned out. He tried several times to reach both John and Bobby to no avail. Bobby was an old friend of the family, had practically raised them and he wasn’t answering either. They were officially off the grid.

After a total of 4 hours in the ER waiting room he heard his fake name called, “Is there a Dean Smith here?”

“I’m Dean Smith. How’s my brother? Is he going to be okay?” he pleaded with the young doctor in scrubs.

“Are you here alone son? He’s in serious condition. Have you been able to reach your parents?”

Dean sighed, “I can’t reach my dad and our mother isn’t with us anymore. My dad travels. I’ll keep trying to get him. How’s Sammy doing? He’s gonna make it, right?”

The doctor looked directly at Dean and with a very low and empathetic tone to his voice said, “He is alive, but not out of the woods. We have the ventilator breathing for him so he can rest and heal. There is no way to tell if he will fully recover at this time. His lungs were full and he is at high risk for infection. If, and that’s a big if, if he pulls through there is still no guarantee that he will be all there, mentally that is. He went for a prolonged period without oxygen. That can cause brain damage that he might not ever recover from. Our hope is that because your brother is young and fit, which is in his favor, and that he was ventilated at the scene, that he will pull through this. Only time will tell.”

Dean became more agitated the longer the doctor spoke and was becoming pale.

“Son, are you okay?” the doctor took Dean’s arm and guided him to the nearest chair. “Have you eaten anything? I understand you went in after him. Maybe we should take a look at you.”

“Nah, nah, I’m fine Doc. When can I see Sammy? I need to see my brother.”

“They’re taking him to the ICU in a few minutes. Check at the nurses’ station there. And tell them I said to get you a snack; they have stuff there, that way you won’t miss your brother when he gets over there.”

“Okay, um, thanks Doc. Thanks a lot.”

Dean got directions and headed directly to ICU. When he got there he introduced himself at the nurses’ station and waited on Sammy. He was there when they rolled up to the doors with Sam and his heart sunk seeing his little brother looking lifeless and hooked up to all of those machines. There was a tube down his throat and one of the nurses was pumping a bag attached to it to give him air. Dean rushed to the gurney and grabbed Sam’ hand. “Sammy, it’s me Dean. I’m here buddy. You’re gonna make it man. I’m here Sammy. Not gonna leave you. I’m gonna be right here when you wake up. Not going anywhere Sammy.”

One of the nurses patted Dean’s arm and told him it would be a few minutes before Sam was settled in and that he could come in later for visiting hours. She pointed to the waiting area outside the closed doors. Dean was pale and clammy, his body tense with worry. This was killing him. He was used to waiting; surveillance was part of the job and he had gotten used to waiting even though it was tedious. What he really got off on was the action of the job and the thrill of hunting. This, this was unbearable. He needed to do something. So he called his dad and Bobby again, knowing his dad would be pissed was not even close to what Dean anticipated John’s reaction would be and Dean knew he was to blame. Leaving the motel room, disobeying a direct order and not keeping Sammy safe, it was all on him.

Finally, after about a lifetime, a nurse came through the ICU doors and announced visiting hours. Dean shot up from his seat, bounded into the unit, asking for directions to his brother’s bedside. Sam didn’t look like Sam. He was pale and nearly lifeless, connected to multiple machines by yards of tubes coming out of several parts of his body. All of the electronics in the room were beeping steadily, and a pervading whooshing sound emanated from the ventilator that was breathing for Sammy. Dean grasped the one hand that had no tubes in it, at least it was warm, and bent his head down to Sam’s, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry. Never should’ve taken you there. Never should have taken my eyes off of you. So sorry man. Hang in there buddy. Don’t die Sammy. You can’t die. Don’t you dare die on me! It’s all my fault Sammy. If you don’t die I’ll never take my eyes off you. I’ll take better care of you. Always make sure you’re safe.” 

Dean kept chanting his promises and apologies to Sam as he sobbed quietly. Dean didn’t notice when one of the nurses came into the room. She was a very efficient looking brunette, not tall, not petite, curvier than average, but that was not what people noticed when they made eye contact with her. It was her eyes. They were pale blue, like the way ice looks when it’s deep, reflecting light and although they were a striking color, what people noticed was the warmth and compassion in them. She was in the right profession for her temperament with her personality being a balanced mix of humor, competency and empathy. She loved her job and she knew she was good at it, using soft words and touches with her patients and their families, and still performing proficiently at the medical side of the job. She was a favorite with her patients as well as coworkers with her quick wit and willingness to help wherever she was needed. Tonight Mia was in the ICU filling in for a nurse on maternity leave.

People who were close to Mia knew she kept her pleasant demeanor, even though she was grieving on the inside. Her husband had been an EMT and had died on the job. His crew responded to a call to the home of a frantic mother whose child had fallen into a cistern, a natural well with the opening at ground level, and he had volunteered to go in after the tot who was crying pathetically at the bottom. Al was like that, good at his job, ready to put himself at risk with no hesitation in order to save someone else. After being lowered down he had secured the child, made sure she was safely in the crew’s hands, then he prepared himself for the lift. The ground around the well was unstable and caved in without warning and Al died that day even with the crew working valiantly to save him. He was the love of Mia’s life, the father of her two children, and had left an aching hole in her life. She was strong, but there were days that were harder than others, and when Mia viewed the scene at Sam’s bedside she knew it was going to be a bad day.

Mia eased quietly up to the bedside, placed a hand on Dean’s back and introduced herself as Sam’s nurse for the night. She had just gotten the report from the day nurses and knew this distraught young man was the patient’s 22 year old brother who had rescued him. Her patient was hanging precariously on the edge of death and she would do all that she could medically, but right now she hurt for this sandy haired older brother and felt his pain. She was always a caring nurse, but this was different. She had heard the litany of self flagellation this young man was beating himself with; a dense cloak of blame weighing him down, shoulders slumped over and eyes red from his grieving. If this twelve year old died, his brother would have to live with the loss and she knew all too well how that felt. 

Dean raised his head to acknowledge her and Mia was taken aback with the beauty of this young man. Even though his eyes were rimmed with red, she could see that they were still a perfect shade of glassy green. After a couple of beats she recovered and asked how Dean was doing and if she could help him with anything. Dean was completely overwhelmed and instinctively reached out to her, clutching onto her, and buried his head in her neck and wept. Mia hugged back, supporting him and allowed him to seek solace in her arms. Mia had noticed he was very tall so he had to stoop down to fit into her shoulder. She just patted him softly on the back and his smell started to invade her senses. The smell was male. She had missed that, closeness with a man, and that smell. Somehow Mia realized that while she was offering comfort she was surprised to feel comforted by this man’s touch. She inhaled his scent and became aware that she did not want to let go, so she didn’t.

Dean’s sobs slowly subsided and he pulled away from her, swiping at his eyes and scanned the room for tissue. He was a mess.

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. You must think I’m a big wuss crying like that.”

“No, not at all. I know you are scared. It’s perfectly understandable.”Mia shook herself back into nurse mode when really she just wanted to be pressed back against his warmth and draw in his musky masculine odor.

“Let’s see how your brother is doing?”

Mia went to the bedside, checked all of the settings on the monitors, collecting details as to how her patient was faring. Dean followed her movements and she explained things as she went, telling him what each machine was for and how they were working to help his brother survive. She knew how families were. They were hungry for any information that would give them hope, any sign that would help them to believe that their loved one would pull through. ICU was a hard place to work as the patients’ health was almost always in a precarious position. To give family false hope would not help them. Just being attentive to them as well as doing her job would. By telling Dean what each machine was doing for Sam she was giving him information that would occupy his mind. She kept her voice low and soothing and watched Dean as he collected himself a little and asked what he could do to help.

“Sorry to tell you we just have to wait and see. I know that doesn’t help much, but just you being here and talking to him helps. At some point if he comes around he will be able to hear you. Just keep talking to him.”

Dean nodded and thanked her. She pulled a chair closer to the bed for him to sit in until they ushered him out at the end of visiting hours.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Dean was there all through the night, coming into the unit every two hours to stay by Sam’s bed side. Mia only had the one patient and made sure she spoke to Dean each time, telling about his brother’s condition and how his numbers were holding steady. Each time she would pass by Dean she eased into his space, trying to get a hint of the masculine smell again. She asked Dean about his family, about his parents, where they lived and if he worked. Dean had to be evasive and regretted not being able to tell the individual who was responsible for taking care of his brother the truth. The truth sucked. His Dad should be here, Dammit! Where the fuck was he?

Mia gave Dean a blanket and a pillow to take to the waiting room and promised she would wake him up at visiting time. The most he would be able to do was doze a little. He didn’t want to miss a minute with Sammy. At four am Sam’s blood pressure dropped so Mia called the doctor getting orders to help stabilize him. She was so busy with Sam she forgot about Dean. Dean woke on his own at 4:45 and went to the ICU doors asking to be let in. When he got in the room Mia was still watching the monitors and Sam closely. 

“Hey, how is he? You promised to come get me.”

“Well, we had a little trouble with his blood pressure. It’s looking better now. Sorry.”

Mia’s heart went out to Dean and she leaned in to hug him from the side, reassuring him with her touch, letting him know that she was right there. When she leaned in, it was there again, that musk. Even with sleep still in his eyes he was breathtaking; his beauty attacking her senses. She held on to him for a little too long, not wanting to let go and Dean looked up to say thank you. It brought their heads closer together and she could feel his breath on her. It startled Dean a little as he finally noticed her when he looked into her eyes. Up to that point he had only noticed her voice. He had never really looked at her. Something about her drew him in and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Their eyes were locked on each other neither one able to sever the hold. After a few moments Mia shook her head and released him, backing off slowly.

“Um, Dean have you eaten anything? Are you hungry? We have snacks, let me get you something.”After he nodded his assent Mia left berating herself for being so unprofessional. This was just not like her. She was not a flirt. She had barely looked at anyone since Al, and this guy was only twenty two, six years younger than her. For heaven’s sake, his brother might be dying and she was flirting with him. She was absolutely rattled, kept dropping things in the break room. It took her fifteen minutes to get some coffee and peanut butter crackers. He was a big guy, at least 6 foot, so she scrounged up as much as she could find. There wasn’t much to get and then she remembered the apple pie she had made yesterday. There was still a piece left in her lunch tote, so she heated it and took it into Sam’s room and proffered it to Dean. 

“I’m sorry this was all I could find, but it’s something.”

“Thanks. Is that apple pie?”

“Yes, I baked it yesterday. My friend gave me the recipe and my kids love it.”

“I love apple pie. My mom used to make it. You have kids?”

Dean although aware that she was older than him, and that she looked a little like a mom, a hot mom that is, was drawn to her. She couldn’t be very old he mused.

“So how old are they?” he questioned.

“Robbie is six and Beth is four. They’re great kids.” And you’re their mother she reminded herself.

“And your husband? I guess you’re married.” Dean was hoping she wasn’t and felt guilty for wishing it.

Mia looked down, this was always hard and for some reason, Dean asking her made her heart rate go up a little. Was he fishing? It certainly felt like it. 

“My husband died two years ago. He was an EMT and died trying to save a toddler. A well caved in on him. They weren’t able to save him.”

Now Dean felt like a douche. He collected his thoughts and tried to capture something positive for her. He wilted at the look in her eyes, hurt as well as longing.

“So he died a hero, in the line of action. That’s something to be proud of.”

“I was…am proud of him. We miss him every day…….Oh, um Dean, visiting hours have been over for a while. I’m sorry but you will have to step out for now. I’ll come get you at six, okay?”

Mia had to distance herself from Dean. She could see herself crossing a line and that was not like her. Mia was the person that other people looked up to, and the thoughts she was having about this young man were not commendable, just looking at him made her flustered. 

Dean thanked her for the pie and left reluctantly, looking at Sam and sighing, his heart catching, feeling helpless again. Talking to Mia had distracted him for a while. She must be strong, working and taking care of her kids without a husband. He couldn’t get her eyes of off his mind. There was just something about her. Deep down he hungered for comfort and love, but he had settled for what little his Dad doled out. Mia was touching some inner part of him that sensed reassurance and peace when he was in her presence. Stop it Dean! No use entertaining that thought. He always had Sammy though. What would he do without Sammy? He had to pull through. If Sam died he knew he would be devastated

The next morning at six when the ICU doors opened, Dean was asleep on his back in the waiting area. Mia’s heart caught, realizing the devotion that Dean had to his brother. She hated to wake him, but she had promised. She bent over the sleeping man, noticed the freckles across his nose and the sun kissed parts of his cheeks. Her breath caught at his sheer beauty, admiring the golden lashes and the tawny glow of his skin. Mia shook herself out of the hormone haze affecting her brain and reached out gently nudging Dean’s arm and in a soft voice she said, “Dean, Dean, wake up.”

Dean bolted awake and saw those damn blue eyes hovering over him. 

“M up, yeah, I’m up. How’s Sammy. Is he okay?”

“He’s stable still Dean. He’s still on the ventilator and unconscious, but his vital signs are stable. You can see him now.”

The next two days took their toll on Dean. Mia was assigned to Sam and caught herself watching Dean closely when she was there. She spent her days taking care of her children and trying to get some sleep; her nights spent at Sam’s bedside. From what she could tell Dean never left the hospital. Unable to hide her concern for him for him any more she approached the subject with him. 

“So Dean, you look tired. Are you leaving the hospital at all? Do you have any place to stay?”

“I’m good. I’m used to not getting much sleep.”

“Yes, but you could probably use a good wash. Do you have a hotel room or something?”

Dean had been so distracted he had forgotten about the motel room. They had never checked out and had left their stuff. 

He face palmed and blurted out, “Shit! ‘m an idiot. I forgot all about our stuff. We had a motel room and we never checked out. We were paid up until yesterday. Um, do you think he’s okay? I don’t want to leave him, but I need to get our gear. Do you think I could leave? It shouldn’t take long. I can come right back.”

Mia reassured him to the best of her ability, promised to call him if there were any changes, so Dean left hesitatingly at the end of that visiting hour. He was back at the beginning of the next with clean clothes and wet hair. Dean picked up their stuff from the motel office, and then made a pit stop to get gas and a wash up in the station’s bathroom. Mia again marveled at his devotion to his brother and she wanted to give him some hope, but Sam’s condition had actually deteriorated some. Just as they expected he had developed pneumonia found on this morning’s X-Rays. He had not responded well to the first course of antibiotics and was starting to have a fever as well as there was more resistance in his lungs which caused him to not oxygenate efficiently. When she was explaining the change to Dean he appeared to collapse a little, but Mia was close to him, at his side and supported him. He fell into her arms as the tears welled up. She pulled him in to her, chest to chest, and just held him. Dean allowed the tears to come, feeling helpless once again, unable to do anything but wait. Mia continued to surround him with her whole body. It was the only thing she could do as she experienced his anguish over Sam along with him. 

Mia began to realize at some point during the hug that something changed. Dean’s tears stopped and he was now encircling her with his arms, nestling into her neck. Was he smelling her? She could feel him slowly and deeply inhaling her neck. Were those his lips? She felt soft, pliant, wet, messy lips pressing into her neck. Well, soft at first, Dean was working his way up to her jaw line, also waiting for a response from her. Mia couldn’t move. Correction she did not want to move. Dean’s aroma was intoxicating to her and the soft pleasurable kisses had her mesmerized, unable to think or move. She wanted this. She had been contemplating similar scenarios in her head ever since she met Dean. 

Dean took her acquiescence as a signal to keep going, so he gradually made his way up to her lips, with one final look into her eyes before he pressed into her mouth, and she opened willingly to him. Dean pulled her in closer and she continued to respond to him without a thought to her surroundings. She felt an immediate rush of heat down to her groin. It had been so long and she was so ready for this attention, also he was a great kisser. Al had never kissed her like this, not with this much need, not to mention that she was under the influence of Dean’s heady male scent. Dean’s many hours practicing in broom closets at various high schools had not hurt his technique, but the driving force behind his kisses was need. He was devouring her. His need for consolation was so great and Mia was so..so…. Oh, he wasn’t sure. She felt like comfort, security, refuge and sex. From the first he had been instinctively drawn to her. There was a sense that this was above and beyond the current situation somehow, and he felt like he had always known her and must have her. 

Their kissing became more urgent, both of them carried away in the moment, so Dean pulled her further behind the curtain that blocked the view from outside the room, the door already being closed. He then lifted Mia by surrounding her pert bottom with his hands and guided her to the top of a low supply chest in the far corner of the room. Mia’s heart was hammering in her chest, but she couldn’t, didn’t want this to end. She felt the heat rise in her pussy making her dripping wet. Dean’s lips never left hers as he jerked her shoe and then one leg of her pants off. He knew this would have to be quick and he was young and impatient. Mia had done something to him, so he embraced the moment and smoothed his hand up her leg to her inner thigh and then into her soft, warm pussy with two fingers and a groan. She was so slick and soft, like velvet, and he wanted to crawl up inside her. He was rock hard and starting to strain the fabric of his jeans. Quickly he opened the button at the top of his jeans and pulled his cock out, already oozing with precome, and lined up to her entrance. He clenched his eyes closed and sighed as the tip of his cock touched her entrance, he could feel how wet and ready she was for him, so with no hesitation he plunged into her. 

Mia’s hands gripped his tight, muscular ass and drew him deeper inside her. She mewled with desire as he thrust into her, softly and slow at first, then with the encouragement from her hips grinding back into him; he drove himself into her with abandon. They were clutching each other tightly, their lips intently exploring the other’s taste and committing it to memory. The sound of their bodies slapping together and the moans emanating from them was, for a short time, drowning out the whoosh of the ventilator and the beeping machines. For a moment Dean forgot about Sam and lost himself in Mia and she was liberated from the numbing grief that overshadowed her life from the loss of her husband.

Dean knew he was, at sixteen, very inexperienced. Oh there had been some groping and fumbling in the back seat of the Impala, but like now it had always been rushed, partly due to his inexperience, partly due to the brevity of the encounters. He had fingered that girl Becky one time and was pretty sure she had an orgasm. This was different. He wanted this to be good for Mia, she was special, and so he made sure she was safe and settled on the chest with his left arm and leg steadying her. Then he caressed her left breast, pulling it outward and tweaking her nipple through way too many clothes. Mia hummed with pleasure. Before long Dean slipped his hand down in between her legs, right above his cock pounding into her, and found her clit. He heard the catch in her breath when he started massaging it with his thumb, so he looked into her eyes to make sure she was okay with it and saw her tilt her head backwards, eyes closed and moaning. He took that as a yes and continued to encircle the area with firm pressure; with every down sweep he was able to pull her slick back up and rub it into her clit.

Dean nuzzled into her and placed sloppy wet kisses up and down her neck. Mia shuddered with delight, and leaned back towards Dean, reveling in the barrage of sweet touch all over her body. He looked up to her again, he was getting close, but he still wanted to make her come first. He caught her eyes peering back at him, penetrating down to his toes, looking inside him. He held her gaze, locking on, wanting to watch her when she came. He brushed his lips on hers, feathery kisses, their warm breath mingling, pulling back each time to look into her eyes, and then he felt it. Her walls were spasming around his length, contracting, pulling on him in waves, and he let go with a powerful groan. Dean continued to thrust into Mia through their orgasms, shaking from his release and clinging tightly to her.

After the spasms decreased Dean caught her lips in his and gave her long, deep kisses and then gazed into her eyes again. Mia looked back at him with passion knowing that her life had just been changed; wanting no more than to just stay there locked tight together, with Dean still hard inside her. Slowly her circulation released the blood flow back into her brain and she was alerted to the sounds of the ICU around them. 

“Dean, I um. I have to um, I can’t.”Mia whispered pulling away and couldn’t help herself by kissing the tip of his nose where the freckles were gathered. 

“Will you hand me some um,” she pointed at a box of tissue unable to get the words out. 

“Sure, sure. “

Dean pulled out of her reluctantly as he realized they had just placed her job in jeopardy. He grabbed the box and shared the contents with Mia and they quickly cleaned themselves and restored order to the room. Mia and Dean both went to Sam’s bedside, she checking his status, Dean looking for any sign that Sam had improved. After Mia made sure everything was in good order, and tilting her head up to kiss Dean lightly on his cheek, she ushered him out of the room and watched him walk out the ICU doors. Oh my God! What had she done? What if they had been caught? What would have happened to her job and her reputation? The hospital was always a breeding ground for salacious gossip and she did not want to be the center of it. But, Dean. Dean. Oh my god, Dean. She couldn’t muster up a grain of regret for what had just happened and it was at that moment she realized she was in trouble. What was she thinking? She wasn’t, and that was the beauty of it. For once in her life she veered off center, let her guard down and just went with it. And it, Dean, left her feeling all warm and exhilarated.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

At the next visiting hour, Mia met Dean in Sam’s room. Dean reached for her hand and lightly grasped it, intertwining their fingers as she updated him on Sam’s status. He was rallying, fever down; his young body was strongly resisting the infection along with the new antibiotic. Mia made a bold move and asked Dean if he would like to use her guestroom to get some uninterrupted sleep and a good shower. She explained that she slept during the day as her children would be gone, Robbie at school and Beth at the sitters. She assured him that the nurses would call him if there was a significant change in Sam’s status. Dean was loath to leave his brother, but after days of catnapping in the waiting room floor, he was ready for a bed. He squeezed Mia’s hand and got directions to her house.

Mia was alone and met him at the door, took his hand and led him to the upstairs bedroom. After he deposited his duffle she led him into her bathroom and started to undress. Even in Dean’s exhausted state it did not take him long to shed his layers. Mia turned on the water in the walk in shower, adjusted the temperature and stepped in beckoning Dean to follow her. Then Mia stood behind him and started to wash him. She felt compelled to lavish his body with caring strokes, not really sexual, as she just wanted to take care and sooth him. She lathered him with a soft wash rag and her body wash, soothing his muscles which were tense and sore from sleeping on the floor.

“Hey, if you keep this up, I’m gonna fall asleep right here.”

“Well, that’s the plan. You are going right to bed. I have to sleep too if I’m going to be able to function at work tonight.”

Ever the caregiver, Mia then applied shampoo and scrubbed his head, using her fingertips to massage his scalp. Dean sighed with contentment, relishing in the attention she was bestowing upon him. Then Mia traded places with him and started to bathe herself, Dean tentatively reciprocating by washing her backside and wishing he was not half dead, so he could savor this but he was beat, the drama and lack of sleep finally catching up to him in his sated and relaxed state.When they finished, they toweled each other off and Mia guided him into her bedroom and into bed. She had light blocking curtains as she always slept during the day, so with the combination of fatigue, a soft bed, a softer body and the dark, Dean was asleep in a matter of moments. For Mia it took a little longer. This was the bed she had shared with Al and yet it felt right. She should have been freaking out, but was instead at peace and followed Dean into a deep sleep, their bodies curled together, within a few minutes later.

They were in bed, asleep by eight am and Dean awoke in about four hours, his requisite minimum, and tried to orient himself in the darkness. He was used to waking up in new places and was very adaptable, but the feeling of a warm naked body pressed up against his back was unfamiliar and epically soothing all at the same time. As he collected his thoughts he remembered Mia and snuggled back into her, taking the hand that was wrapped around him in his. He snuggled into her, pressing his body against hers and breathing in her scent. It was clean and earthy all at the same time. He’d never actually slept with a woman before and he felt protected and serene in this moment. Laying there and listening to the small whiffling sounds of Mia’s breathing was calming him in a way that was foreign to him. Since his mom died, no one had ever really taken care of Dean. Dean got little attention from his father, except to make sure he was taking care of Sammy or to bawl him out.

Sammy! For a few hours, he had forgotten about Sam and he was Dean’s responsibility. He got up and called the hospital first and then his Dad. Sam was good and stable; his temperature was normal, he had responded to the antibiotics and was doing as well as could be expected. His Dad remained unreachable. Mia was still asleep and Dean crawled back in the bed, craving the warmth of her body next to his. Mia stirred and looked up at him with lidded eyes and a slow smile spread across her lips. She pulled him into her arms and pressed her lips into his.

Mia still had a few hours until she would need to go pick up her children, so she decided she was going to spend most of that time enjoying this sweet man. They spent several minutes just making out like teenagers. Mia had really missed kissing so all of the attention Dean was giving her mouth was making her toes curl, causing her to become slick. Dean then moved from her lips down to her neck, kissing her with eagerness, some kisses soft and wet, others deep and ardent. His hands slid up her body to her breasts, cupping each one and starting to squeeze them working from their bases to the tips of her nipples with his thumbs, massaging and tweaking them firmly but gently. He then worked his lips down past her collarbone and covered one of her breasts with his mouth, sucking on it, pulling it in, not letting go, going at it earnestly and with abandon. Breasts were awesome! Mia nuzzled the top of his head, her nose inhaling his heady scent, she was committing it to memory as well as the feel of him pressed upon her, already hard and starting to rub against her. Dean released her nipple with a hum and a couple of small smacks on the tip and then moved to the other breast, wanting to give it equal attention. 

Mia’s hands rubbed up and down Dean’s back, experiencing the feel of his firm muscles and reveling in his male form. Dean continued to explore her body, moving from her breasts down her abdomen tasting her skin, loving the softness. As he moved down, he encountered the fragrant patch of hair above her pussy, nestling his nose into it, realizing he wanted to be inside her now. He slipped two fingers into her and happily found that she was wet and ready for him. He lingered for a while, sliding his fingers in and out eliciting a moan from Mia as she canted her hips toward his intrusion, letting him know he was on the right track. When her hips started thrusting up in earnest, Dean made his way back up to her lips, used one hand to coax her legs apart and slipped between them. His fingers slid inside her again, gathering some of her slickness and rubbed up and down his cock making for a very smooth entry into Mia’s pussy. 

Both of them were determined to take this slower than their first encounter at the hospital, so Dean went in nice and slow taking his time, thrusting with ease deep into her vagina. He could now appreciate the warmth and softness of her and even though he was just getting started, he knew he didn’t want to leave. He could stay right here forever, deep in her pussy with her writhing below him, meeting his every move with one of her own. Mia was enthralled with this young man; the feel of him inside her was beyond perfect. She was married for a long time and was very naïve at the beginning of her marriage. Eventually she and Al had figured things out together, learning each other’s bodies, finding out what worked. Mia knew what she needed in the bed and she wanted to give Dean what he needed. Right now she was just trying to meet his moves with hers and keep her hands around him, keeping them close together. This way their hips ground together causing the friction on her clit that made her crazy.

Dean leaned into Mia’s neck, kissing her hungrily, spending time seeking out her lips and all of the skin he could reach with his mouth. Mia’s hands had been pressed against his back, but as her need grew, she began to clutch at his ass, pulling the taught, flexing globes toward her, making his thrusts even deeper. She had encircled his lower half with her legs allowing her hips to open up, and Dean kept heaving his way inside her. Now with each thrust Mia purred with enjoyment and Dean grabbed her hips and locked his lips with hers, not pulling out much with each thrust, but literally grinding himself into her.

Mia keened with pleasure as she built up to her orgasm and cried out an unintelligible stream of syllables, finishing with a sound that could only be described as a squeal. Dean was mesmerized watching her and feeling the taughtness of her pussy grasping around his cock, drawing him in, and he had no desire to leave. He continued to thrust in and out, watching her come down a little and notice him again. Mia although aware of him, had zoned out, cocooned in her own microcosm of pleasure. She looked up at Dean, raising up to meet his lips with hers, breathing him in, smelling the musk that was emanating from him along with the smell of fresh sweat. She had always loved that smell, her nose was very sensitive, responding to certain smells with nostalgia and bringing her back into the happier parts of her mind. Dean was a new smell she was learning, it made her hungry, wanton and totally open. 

Dean could come now, it would feel so good, but he was reluctant for this to end. He caressed her hair, spent time just locking lips and eyes, and just stayed in the moment, drawing this out, making it last. His thrusts became less urgent, but he drew out more and slid back into her gently, with exaggerated movements. He kissed his way down her neck to her breasts, they were his right now and he couldn’t think of a better way of coming, attached to one. He drew each nipple into his mouth, going back and forth and then finally settling in on the left as he turned them together on their sides with Mia left side up and her thigh covering his. Dean carried on his smooth, gentle attack on her pussy, while suckling at her left breast, pulling off and nipping at her nipple intermittently.

Nirvana. Heaven. Bliss.

Both of their minds were in accord. Unrushed and content the two clung to each other, neither one wanting this to end. Dean raised his eyes to Mia, seeing the glow on her face, knowing he had put that there and in a few more beats, he was coming. He came hard, toes curling, mind blowing, hard. His whole body was shaking as he continued to thrust slowly into her and all too soon, it became too much, he was too sensitive and so he stilled his body, clinging to Mia and finding her mouth again. Both of them needed to seal their bonding with long, languorous kisses, savoring their time together. They were breathing in sync, calmly and in no time Dean was asleep. Mia just laid there and held him, his cock still inside her, petting his hair, stroking him, inhaling him. She glanced at the clock and realized their time together would be soon ending. She had to be up and out of the house in a half hour, so she reluctantly disentangled their limbs, his limp member now out of her, creating an empty void, wanting to stay here, but knowing she could not. As she moved Dean murmured, not really waking. She placed a kiss on the top of his head and started her day by heading to the bathroom. 

Mia hated to wake him, but she needed to pick up her kids and they always spent some time at home together until she dropped them at the sitters and went to work. It was a hectic part of her day. Spending time with her children was important especially as she had an odd schedule. She watched him sleep, he was so beautiful and relaxed, it was a crime to rouse him, but it had to be done. Mia stroked his hair first, kneeled down and kissed those damn perfect freckles across his nose. When had freckles become so attractive? On Dean they were magic. They sprinkled over the bridge of his nose and cheeks like punctuation marks exclaiming his beauty.

She breathed him in again and spoke softly to him while she cooed his name. “Dean. Dean?”

Dean opened his eyes and smiled, humming and then sucking in air. “What time is it?”

“2:30 so I have to leave soon, Dean. Help yourself to something to eat and whatever you need. I will be coming back in, um, about 45 minutes with my children. Are you going back to the hospital, or do you need to sleep some more?”

Dean shook his head, “M going back to the hospital. Um, I should be gone by the time you get back. Wanna see Sammy. Been gone to long as it is.”

“Well, leave your things here. You’re coming back in the morning.” It was a statement, not a question, so Dean nodded and beamed at her.

“S great. I’ll be back, um, leave my stuff here then,” he said with a shy smile. He sat up and pulled her hips into his chest and burrowed his head into her tummy. Mia leaned over with her hand curled around his head and kissed the top of it, nuzzling into his hair. Dean tilted his head up and gave her a long meaningful kiss, not wanting to let her go. They still hadn’t had enough time together, and yet there was the promise of more. She had invited him back.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

The next few days were spent divided between Mia’s house and the ICU at Sammy’s bedside. Sammy was getting better steadily; the pneumonia was clearing, all his numbers were better, so things were looking up. Dean was hopeful. There was still no sign of his Dad.

Mia and Dean were hungry for each other, stealing as much time as they could together, but careful to be discreet while at the hospital. At her house they made the most of their time, exploring each other’s bodies and Mia teaching Dean about the ways of a woman. It had become obvious to her that Dean’s experience was limited. He didn’t share a lot about himself, except to admit to not ever having a real girlfriend. How could that happen to this gorgeous man? Mia just could not understand how this handsome of a 22 year old was still uninvolved even though they lived on the road which made it difficult to get very close to anyone. So at best he had only brief encounters and had a lot to learn. 

When she gave him the first blow job he didn’t offer to reciprocate. Mia was a big fan of oral sex, but in her mind it was a two way street. So the next time she was paying the head of his dick lip service, she was determined to get hers. She had been kneeling over Dean in the bed with her lips wrapped around his cock, humming to herself and bobbing up and down when she decided to back off and school Dean in the art of pleasing women. She didn’t know how long Dean would be here, but this was something he must learn, part of the give and take in a relationship that made it satisfying for both. 

He had shown interest by frequently getting up close and personal with her pussy, but would back off, hesitant to continue. Mia lifted her mouth off of his cock with a wet pop and a swipe of her tongue over the slit and curled up at his side and queried, “Dean?”

“Mmm nnh.”

“Have you ever gone down on a woman?”

Dean choked a little. Mia was great, but that had taken him by surprise. He had thought about it, almost just dove in once or twice, but had been embarrassed to continue. He was too insecure to say anything and knew he would suck at it. He didn’t want to disappoint Mia, he thought it would be worse to try and suck at it, than to just avoid it altogether. 

“I, um…., um I.”

“Dean, it’s ok. I know you haven’t ever been with anyone for very long. If you want I could, um, show you. I mean if you want. You don’t have to.” Mia didn’t want to pressure him.

Dean blushed and Mia’s heart melted. Oh my god, this man was going to kill her, he was such a find. So sweet and tender and yet powerful in his lovemaking, she just couldn’t get enough of him. 

Dean leaned into kiss her and said, “Yes, um, yes. Please, um, show me. I, um, really want to.” Mia was gorgeous and Dean could not believe this was really happening. He had mostly forgotten about the age difference and that Mia thought he was older than he was. He was here with her now, he needed her now. He loved being with her, her skin was luminous, her body soft and curvy, and her eyes, well, he found himself drawn like a magnet to them whenever they were together. 

Mia took his hand in hers and guided it first to her clit, he had found the landmarks before; she wanted him to really feel it, show him how it enlarged when given smooth but purposeful attention. She let him just play with her for a while making sure he understood that slow even pressure was how she liked it. She encouraged him with words as well as murmurs.

“Mmmm, yeah, right there baby. That feels really good. Now try that with your tongue, baby.”

Dean positioned himself between her legs and eased his mouth in tentatively, his tongue flickering out to find her hard little mound. He was so eager to please Mia and he was enjoying this as well. He kept trying to figure out what her fragrance reminded him of. It was musky and yet he was reminded of flowers, not like roses, but like something he had smelled when he and Sammy had gone to some sort of indoor garden, one of those botanical places in some big town while they were waiting for Dad and killing time. It was exotic and Dean decided right there, he liked this. Yep, he wanted to spend a lot of time here right between her legs. He flattened his tongue out and began to lap long strokes up from her opening all the way onto her clit. Then he would move his tongue in long circles around the little nub. He felt he was on the right track as her clit was so much larger than when they had started, and with encouragement from Mia he kept repeating that movement, up and around, tasting her and listening to her.

“Yeah, um, baby, just like that. That feels good, sooo good. Keep going baby, don’t stop.”

Dean had no intention of stopping; he was too intent on this now. With Mia’s guidance he started ending his strokes with kissing her clit, sucking it into his mouth and working his tongue around it. Mia was arching her back, no real words -coming out now, just mumbling, and gurgling sounds. Mia was getting close and she knew what she needed. She needed Dean’s fingers inside her and she was blathering, unable to form the words. 

“De…, aah, De, ….I…Nee..d, um, fin…gerssss. In. Me. Now. In.”

Dean heard and responded, never letting up his mouth’s assault on Mia’s clit, he slid two fingers in, pumping them in and out, in and out, until Mia bucked up and cried out his name for the first time, her walls gripping around his fingers in waves.

“Deeean! Dean, ohh, Dean.” He continued to pump his fingers until she started wriggling away from him, Dean had continued his onslaught on her pussy, but she was becoming over sensitive and backed her hips away from him. He gave her pussy one last sloppy wide mouthed kiss, which made her shudder, and crawled up the bed to her side, using the back of his hand to wipe off his face. He snuggled into her side with a smug smile on his face. 

Mia looked up at him. He was beaming at her and she chuckled. “Proud of yourself? Mmmn, Dean?”

“Why yes, yes I am,” he snickered, leaning in for a kiss and then hesitated. Mia just smiled and grasped the back of his head and pulled him into her, perfectly comfortable with her taste on him. He had done so well. He was a natural, he picked up everything easily, and he was so responsive and enthusiastic. He was the perfect lover, eager to please, tender and his physique, well he was not only beautiful, he was well endowed. Mia blushed just thinking about Dean’s cock. It was impressive. Al was not small by any means, but Dean’s girth was, well, he was thick, and he felt good inside her. She reached down and started to stroke him while they were kissing, slow, even strokes while she was trying to decide if she was going to reward him with a blow job, or if she was going to have to have him inside her. Why not both she asked herself. Yep, that was the way to go, both!

Mia used her lips to make her way down Dean’s body to his greatly engorged member that was lying against his belly, oozing with precum, red and swollen. She licked his slit, sucking in the wetness there and licking her lips. He tastes good too. She had learned to love sucking cock, which had surprised her when she was younger, it had seemed gross the first time she was urged by Al to try it. Now it was a treat, the taste, the heaviness and the slick, smooth skin of Dean’s cock had her humming her enjoyment as she swallowed him down. She ran the flat of her tongue up the underside and made her way up to the tip, her tongue making wide circles around the head, and then slurping back down. Yep, this was an adult lollypop and Mia’s new favorite candy. Yum!

Dean was lying on his back watching Mia devour him. He could feel his dick twitching and couldn’t help canting his hips up toward her. He held back, letting her take the lead and just savored her efforts, but at this rate he was going to be coming soon. He had been aroused for a while and was getting close. Mia gave one long drag of her tongue up his shaft and looked up at Dean. God he was perfect like that, lying there, letting her take control and she was planning on staying in control. Mia crawled up and slung one leg over Dean, mounting him, face to face, hovering above his hips as she reached behind her, grasped his spit slicked cock and guided it inside her, and then seated herself on him. Once she was settled she took both of his hands in hers, she needed something to steady her as she was planning on riding him hard. They had not done this yet, her on top, and she was happy to reward Dean for his efforts. She started out slow, grinding her hips forward and back, up and down, rubbing her clit on him, feeling his coarse hair between them, adding friction.

Mia watched Dean below her, trying to read his body language. She was close again soon, she had stayed in a state of intense arousal while sucking on Dean, her pussy was dripping and he felt so good inside her, filling her up. Dean looked close too, he was started to thrust back at her, but she needed him to be still.

“Dean baby, slow down. Let me do it baby. “

Dean groaned, “Wanna.., need to.”

“No baby. Let me, please. Be. Still.”

Dean tried to relax but, with every fiber of his being he felt the urge to move, to get deeper inside her, need.. Need.

And then he was coming, Mia was still riding him, grinding down hard on him and then her hips stuttered and she was crying out again, huffing from the exertion, skin glistening with sweat. She rode out their orgasms and collapsed on Dean’s chest, swallowing large gulps of air, her chest heaving against him, the slickness of their bodies sticking their skin together. Mia just lay on him panting for a while, their breathing loud at first and then calming down, sleep finally overtaking them both with Dean still inside her. 

Mia awoke later with a start, sated and sticky, realizing she was still on top of Dean. He was asleep with his hands clutching her hips from behind. She was getting stiff and her knees were complaining about the position they were in. With slow movements, Mia eased herself off, missing the feel of him inside her as soon as she pulled off his cock. He was so peaceful there and she, well she had it bad. What was she going to do when he left? He was leaving. She knew it in her gut, but for now, she was not going to think about it. She only had a few hours before she had to pick up her kids, so she sidled up next to Dean, trying to get as much skin touching as possible without actually crawling back on top of him.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen  
2012  
Dean remembered where Mia’s house was and drove straight there. He hadn’t slept in days, his anxiety over Cas’ disappearance keeping him on edge. When he got there he spied only one silver SUV in the driveway, the windows of the house dark in the middle of the day. Was she home asleep? Did she even still live there? What was he even doing here after so many years? He rubbed his callused hands down through the stubble on his chin that was longer than usual. He couldn’t remember when he last shaved, or eaten for that matter. He had been on the road all night, stopping only for gas and coffee. He opened his phone and searched for her phone number, took a deep breath and dialed. After several rings Mia answered her voice thick with sleep. 

“Hey, it’s um Dean. “

“Dean?........ Is it you?” There was smokiness to his voice that had not been there before. Of course he was older and he would sound different, but she also heard something that grabbed at her heart. Was it pain she heard? Fear?

“Yeah, um, I, “Dean’s voice broke and he couldn’t get any words to come. 

“What’s wrong Dean? Are you okay? Is it Sam? Is he all right?”

Dean cleared his throat and fought back the sob that was building; he just needed Mia right now.

“Can I come see you?”

“Sure Dean, when do you want to come by?”

“Now, um, is now okay?”

“Where are you Dean?”

“At your house, I’m outside.”

Mia got up from the bed, went to her bedroom window, pulled back the curtain and saw the Impala parked across the street. “Yeah, come on in Dean.” She grabbed a robe and went to open the front door. Dean was walking head down and looked up as she cracked the door open, one hand clutching her robe. The look on his face melted her and he fell into her arms as she opened them totally forgetting her state of undress. 

Dean fell apart, finally giving in to the overwhelming feeling of being abandoned and bereft. Not knowing about whatever was going on with Cas had drained him, which was saying a lot for Dean. Dean always just kept going, carrying on was his norm, but this had him drowning and he had run out of options and places to look. He needed Mia, could not think of anywhere else to be at the moment.   
Mia was patiently holding on to Dean, surrounding him, waiting for him to collect himself and yet needing to do something. 

“You want some coffee or something? Then we can talk if you want, or do you need to sleep or eat or…..?”She rubbed up and down his back and held him close. God, was he taller? That smell was there, the Dean smell, a little pungent, but still intoxicating. Dean was fumbling for something to say, “I um, I don’t know, I um…”

“Well you look beat, how about we clean you up a little, and then you can sleep. We can talk later. I don’t have to go in to work tonight, I worked last night, but tonight there’s nothing. How about that?”

Dean nodded his assent and she led him into the bathroom, sensing a little Déjà vu as she helped him out of his clothes, remembering the first time, and she felt her libido spiking as she surveyed Dean’s body. She adjusted the water in the shower and manhandled him under the spray. He just stood there in a state of inertia; he had shut down. Mia sighed, stripped and stepped in behind him, grabbing shower gel and a rag and went straight to the business of cleaning him up. She used firm pressure to scrub him down while she continued to manhandle him with very little cooperation from Dean. He wasn’t fighting her; he was just not doing anything. Mia was now starting to be really concerned about him and because he needed her, she was taking care of him with no questions asked until he was ready. After she toweled him off she led him to her bed and then crawled in after him, wrapping herself around him. Dean tucked his head under her chin and snuggled in with a deep sigh. Mia just held him kissed the top of his head, using her body to comfort him, listening to him breathe until he relaxed and fell asleep.

As she lay there, it all came rushing back.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen  
1995  
Mia winced as she remembered the scene at the hospital when Dean and Sam’s dad came back to town, the crushed look on Dean’s face as his father berated him in front of the hospital staff, branding him with blame and disappointment. She would never forget that look. She knew that Dean was blaming himself already, self flagellating himself raw, and yet no one deserved that level of vitriol, no one. 

They had moved Sam from the ICU two weeks after his admission, the last few days he was able to be off the ventilator and was recuperating at a much more rapid rate than anyone had expected. The twelve year old was sweet and watching Dean be so attentive to him had just endeared him to her even more. Dean would bring him food from outside the hospital, even fruit that he knew Sam liked, anything for his little brother, like a little mother hen. That was exactly it. He was really the only mother Sammy had known and he was there, taking care of his chick, the love for him always shining in his eyes. She had seen the look on Dean’s face when Sam woke up, hopeful as he watched Sam struggling against the ventilator, wild eyed, looking for Dean. When Sam finally focused and was able to see Dean he calmed down; Dean held his hand, soothing him with the assurance that he was there for him. “I’m here buddy; you’re going to be okay. I’m right here.” The smile on Dean’s face lit the room up. He had his Sammy back and all was right with the world.

 

Things had gone really well the next few days after moving Sam out to the floor. Dean spent his afternoons and nights with Sam and his mornings in Mia’s bed. Mia shivered a little at the memory of their time together, wrapped up in each other, exploring and loving each other’s bodies, and then it all came to a screeching halt when their Dad finally showed up. He finally got all of the messages that Dean had left him and came straight to the hospital without calling, storming into Sam’s room. As soon as he saw that Sam was okay, he lit into Dean. Dean just stood there and took it. She hurt for him. She felt crushed herself. 

They kept Sam for two more nights and then they were just gone. Mia had not really gotten to speak to Dean much after John arrived; she was in the ICU still while other nurses were assigned to Sam on the floor. She kept trying to get a moment with Dean, but with John’s presence there were only a few stolen moments and kisses at the hospital. Dean had left some things at her house and arranged to meet her there the day they left.

He followed her home from work that morning. It was sunny outside, the air was crisp, and Mia was dying inside. She had not just fallen hard, she knew that what she had with Dean was over and could not wrap her head around it. Her time with Dean had been otherworldly, larger than life, more like a dream in Technicolor, surround sound and smellavision. Mia tucked her nose into Dean’s hair and inhaled his woodsy, musk and remembered that terrible morning. Dean trailed behind her into the house and body slammed her against the wall, covering her body with his and kissing into her as if his life depended on it. He was rushed, trying to appease his dad and yet needing her, not wanting to leave. The kiss was like he was trying to get inside her and suck her in all at the same time. Mia had been weak, emotional and started crying, not the full out blubber that she was feeling, but the tears ran down her face as she was choking back the sobs. She was returning Dean’s kisses with her own hunger, not wanting to let him go and knowing that he would never stay with her out of loyalty to his family. That knowledge did nothing to assuage the feeling that she was already alone, more alone than when Al had died. The depth of feeling she had for Dean had given her hope that her life as a woman was not over. She had been a good mom, a good nurse and had just relegated her social life to one that supported her kids and work. She really never thought she would ever find someone else and then Dean happened. 

They made no promises to each other, they just clung together, both of them crying silently and she could not remember who made the first move but soon he was gone and part of Mia left with him. Dean had been it for her. It hurt too much and she never found anyone else. She never even looked. No one appealed to her and she certainly did not pursue a new relationship. When Dean left, her loss was numbing. She slept all of her free time from her job and when her kids were not at home. She left them at the sitters longer and when they were with her she just went through the motions. Her work started to suffer and her supervisor noticed. Ms. Ward was great about it, brought her in for a meeting, assumed it was still about Al and suggested grief counseling. She really had no one to confide in as the issue at hand was one that could jeopardize her career, so she let everyone think it was about Al. Mia also agreed to counseling, but her heart wasn’t in it, so after a few sessions she quit going. 

With time she settled into a banal, easy existence. There had not been much color to her world during the last several years. Mia’s children were important to her so she made sure they had grown up feeling loved. She would have never forgiven herself if it had been otherwise. They were out of college now; Beth was a nurse and was living four hours away with her husband of two years. Her son Rob was doing tech support at a large plant on the east coast. She had a comfortable, predictable life. No frills but she had made peace with the fact that there was no one that she would ever want after Dean. He had been it, and now here he was, in her bed, grieving, but here.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen  
2012  
Mia never went back to sleep. Dean in her arms was so delicious; she did not want to miss one moment of his warming presence. She watched him sleep, mapping out the lines on his face, counting his freckles, entranced by the length and curl of his eyelashes, reveling in his smell. She had nowhere to be, no demands on her time and Dean needed her, of that she was sure. Even tired and drained, Dean was still beautiful. Time had been good to him, the wrinkles and the dark circles under his eyes telling the tale of a harsh life. She was sure he must be taller than she remembered and had filled out in a very manly way. Dean as a young man had been wirier, now he was more solid, but he still had those damn bowed legs that made her weak.

Mia heard the distinct grumbling coming from Dean’s stomach making her realize that several hours had passed and she had not eaten since her last break at work. Torn between her hunger and being Dean’s pillow she argued with herself about getting up. Before she could decide Dean jerked awake and started a little when he realized where he was. 

“Oh hey um, Mia.”

“Hey, Dean. You hungry?’

“Yeah, I could eat something.” Right then Dean’s stomach growled to punctuate the statement.

Mia smiled and kissed him gently on the lips, “Coffee first, I’ll go get it started.”

After Mia got the coffee started she pulled together a quick breakfast of eggs, toast and turkey bacon. Dean followed her into the kitchen and sat at the bar where he had shared those other breakfasts so long ago. So much had happened since then, he didn’t know where to start, but he needed someone to talk to and it had to be Mia. He had denied himself of a life with her because he couldn’t leave John and Sammy. There had been a lot of other women in his life, but to him, Mia was the one who was always there like a sanctuary in his mind. Dean had gotten through a lot of tedious stakeouts and painful torture sessions by replaying their time together in his mind, their tryst thankfully deeply engraved in his mind, an oasis amidst the hell that was his life. To Dean, she would always be the epitome of what a women should be, soft, open, nurturing and yet sassy and sexy as hell. Mia was not having much luck keeping her robe fastened and Dean’s eyes were fixated on the curve of her breasts and the slivers of skin that peeped out with her movements.

Mia sidled up to Dean and poured him some coffee all the while tugging at her robe. 

“Don’t. Don’t cover yourself up. Wanna see you” Dean purred as he snaked his hand under her robe, around her waist and pulled her into him.

Mia sighed, smiled and turned into his touch, knowing that she would give him whatever he wanted of her. When their eyes met they were already halfway into the space that separated their mouths and when their lips met their hunger for each other eclipsed the hunger for the food already forgotten on the stove.

Dean’s mind blanked except for “needneedneed” as they stumbled back into Mia’s bedroom, clutching each other with an intensity that was all encompassing. Mia’s hunger was seated in several years spent pent up with loneliness and grief and Dean’s need matched hers with every touch. They fell into the bed with Dean on top knocking Mia’s breath out of her lung’s. 

“Sorry” Dean said as he backed off a little while Mia clambered backwards into the middle of the bed, Dean still on top of her. Dean’s hands were exploring her body, reacquainting his hands with her curves. He worked his way down her body with electric kisses, sending shivers of pleasure all over Mia. It had been so long, so freaking long, she was overwhelmed with the sheer physicality of it all. It had been seventeen years. Seventeen long years since anyone had touched her. The last person had been Dean, and now here he was suckling on her left breast, his warm body covering hers with exquisite pressure. What was it about someone lying on top of you? It made her feel safe, secure, oh. Oh. My. God. Oh, my freaking God. She was so hot. So wet. Everywhere Dean’s body met hers was on fire inundating her body with the joy of being touched.

Mia’s body was soft and smelled fantastic. Dean couldn’t get enough of her. Ravenous for her taste he made his way down to her pussy, nuzzling into her curls, inhaling her scent, remembering and recommitting her scent to memory all at the same time. Exotic flowers. That was it. This was what he had been missing and now he was where he wanted, no, needed to be. Hunkered down, pressing into her cleft, tongue reaching out to find…Yeah there it was. Her little nub, erect and yet yielding to his ministrations, Mia bucking her hips up to his face that stayed firmly in place. Mia was writhing under his touch, gurgling out sounds that were mostly unintelligible, garbling his name, “Deee..Oh! Deeeeean. Iss, Oh mmmmm, gaa, gaaad. More, yessss. Oh sweet Jesus!”

Dean slowed down a little, taking his time, kissing and sucking on her clit like it was the center of the universe. He lapped up her sweet juice while darting his tongue in and out of her hole, feeling the velvety plush walls that he was planning to dominate. Dean inserted two fingers inside Mia and went back to worshipping her clit with his mouth. Mia was close, all of the banked embers of her desire flaming hot and she came with a cry and a jerk up off of the bed, Dean tracking her and not letting up until she put her hand on the top of his head and held him back firmly. It was too much. She could not handle the intense stimulation any longer. Dean acquiesced to her clue and made his way back up her body, enveloping her mouth with his, and sliding his very hard cock into her with one swift motion. “Mmph, um”Dean grunted as he met resistance, her walls were tight, wet, oh so wet, but also very tight. 

“Baby…you’re so tight.”Dean uttered as he pushed forward. “So tight.”He said as he slowly but firmly made his way into her.

“Am I hurting you?”

“Nnnn. No. Not. Mmmm, don..don’t stop.”

Dean did not need the encouragement, he was already there, he was very aware and sensitive to every sound she made and the way she felt under him. She felt so damn good around him and he had no intention of stopping unless that was what she wanted. Dean sunk deeper into her plush walls and then started to gently thrust in and out of her while Mia clung to his back at first. Then her hands travelled down to his muscled ass, grasping him tightly, her hips rising with every thrust to get him as deep inside her as possible. Dean bracketed his hands around her chest and ground his hips into hers again and again, Mia meeting his every movement, their bodies glistening with sweat making them slide slickly together. The intense pressure on her clit and her sheer need was bringing Mia to another climax. Dean had been covering her with kisses finally seizing her mouth and stealing her breath away. As he ground into her she felt her mind remove itself from her body, the sensations too overwhelming for her to comprehend, her body finally finding its release.

Dean felt the waves of contractions surrounding him which drew him into his own orgasm, emptying his warm load inside her in several spurting spasms. He trembled and collapsed on top of Mia both of them gasping, chests heaving, warm bodies melding together. Loathing to be out of her and yet not wanting to crush her, Dean rolled reluctantly off her cuddling up to her side.

After their breathing reached an even cadence and the blood returned to Dean’s brain, he let his probing mind consider what Mia’s life was like now. What had she been doing all these years? Why was she so tight? Did she have someone else in her life? Had she been lonely? What right did he have descending on her with all of his problems? He was a selfish bastard, he knew that, but how could he do this to Mia, just showing up at her door after all of these years? How was he going to explain to her about Cas? I mean, he is a freaking angel and Dean had never really disclosed to Mia what the family business was all about. He wanted to pour out his heart to her but knew that the truth, even without all of the gory details, would still not be believable. 

Dean scooted up enough to press his lips to hers and gave her sweet, languorous kisses, savoring the moment before the dam of his mind burst, regretting before he even got started the impact it would have on her. Luckily his concern for her outweighed the need for him to unload on her; that could wait. He needed to know how she was, about her life, and why the hell was she so tight? He could not imagine her not dating, maybe not finding someone important to her, but surely she had dated, right?

“Mia, um uh, how’ve you been? I mean I want to know about your life. I want to hear about your kids and everything, you know.”

Mia smiled. Dean was putting off telling her why she was here by shifting the focus on to her. She had only learned bits and pieces about his life during their brief affair, pillow talk mostly. Some about his travels, Sammy and his dad, and of course his mother’s death in that house fire so long ago. What was he, four when that happened? She knew nothing about him since then, except the wear and tear on his face, the scars marking his body she noticed during the shower, and that he was desperate enough to show up at her house after all of these years. 

Mia sighed and began relaying the essentials of her life, mostly about Beth and Rob, their careers and the particulars of their current life. Work had been steady but she finally gave up her position in ICU to teach new staff at the hospital. She coordinated all of the education for current and new staff and occasionally filled in on the floor, more because she wanted to keep up her skills than anything else. She did miss patient care and the satisfaction it always gave her, but it could be so much more emotionally draining; besides she loved teaching. 

“What about you though? How have you been? I mean, um…..has there been someone in your life, you know, someone for you?”

Mia paused, then pulled in a lungful of air. She was afraid of sounding pitiful having been alone the whole time since Dean left, at first she was just dead inside, then she pined for him, wondering what Dean was doing, where he was, who he was with? She knew admitting to any of this would force Dean to be aware of how much it had hurt her, losing him, and she did not want to put any more on him but did not want to outright lie  
.  
“I’ve been fine Dean, really okay,” she said skirting the answer that would change the current ease of their coupling.

“No, I mean, not just how’ve you been? Who has been here with you, hasn’t there been someone? Have you dated?” Dean could not imagine this striking women being alone all of this time. I mean he had left when he was just sixteen and she had been young still, less than thirty, and gorgeous, curvy, sexy and had those eyes, those eyes that were strikingly blue and kind. Those eyes that had drawn him to her the first time, hauntingly reminiscent of his angel’s, the reminder causing his mood to plummet. He had not forgotten why he was here, but had been gloriously distracted by her lush body  
.   
Mia knew Dean was not going to let it go and so she bit the bullet and revealed the sadness of her life without any bitterness in her voice. She sighed and admitted to him, “No Dean, there really hasn’t been anyone. “

“No one important you mean, you dated of course?”

The question hung in the air for a while before Mia could voice the reality of her life. She had been alone, never looking or allowing anyone entrance into her sphere, preferring no one over the solitary life without Dean. Alone she still had Dean, fantasizing about him, fueling her time alone when she pleasured herself with the memory of his scent and hard body pressed in and against her. She couldn’t lay a guilt trip on him regarding something he had no control over. Her friends had tried to get her to go out with them, tried to fix her up with some really great guys. She never went. None of them were Dean. That was something Dean did not need to know.

“No Dean, there hasn’t been anyone. I guess I was just involved with Rob and Beth, getting them through school, then college. There was a lot of responsibility with my job and I also went back to school. Got my Master’s degree. I guess I’ve just been too busy.” 

Dean decided not to push, by the look on Mia’s face he could tell he’d put her on the defensive and decided not to pressure her.

Mia figured it was time for Dean to divulge why he was here and inquired, “So Dean, are you ready to talk yet, you know, about why you’re here?”

“Mmnnn. I don’t know where to start. There’s so much that has happened. My life has been totally crazy, living on the road and all, but I finally found someone, some one really special. And now he’s gone. It’s been six months now and Sammy and I have looked everywhere, called everyone we know and no inkling, only maybe he’s in… um this place. This one place he might be, but I have no way of getting there, I guess you could say it’s a place that is heavily guarded.” Dean tried to be creative describing heaven without giving it away. That would sound crazy.Mia watched Dean’s face as he spoke and saw that he was suffering and hiding a lot about the whole situation. The sound of his husky voice was mesmerizing; she could stay here with him forever, so she encouraged him, “Tell me about him Dean. I’d like to know more.” 

Dean took a deep breath and remembered, “The first time I saw Cas he was bigger than life, impressive, powerful. I was intimidated by him. We uh, our jobs were sort of related and we started to cross each other’s paths more and more. We worked together a lot actually, me and Sam and Cas. We’ve been through a lot together, you know, the foxhole type of relationship, where you spend so much time together that you learn a lot about the other um..person. You know, what they’re really like when all of your defenses are down, all the ugly bits along with the good. At first we were skeptical of each other, and then we became friends. We worked together so much he became family to me.”

Dean paused; putting into words how his feelings had developed for Cas was not easy. He had denied them for so long and had just recently admitted it to himself and Cas that he loved him. Then there was the whole thing about Cas being a guy. There was no way he was going to try to explain to Mia about Cas having no preference for his sexual orientation, but he was inhabiting Jimmy Novak’s spectacular body, and that was how Dean had fallen into a relationship with a man. 

“I think both Cas and I knew we were developing um…I guess you could call them “romantic” feelings for one another, neither one of us willing to admit it to ourselves or each other. This went on for a long time. Years. And then about 6-7 months ago, I got hurt on the job and Cas took care of me. It just kind of escalated then. I nearly died on that job. It scared Cas. Hell, it scared both of us. I think it made us realize that we ummm…we told each other that we uh.... loved.. each other.. and spent the next few weeks um…God this is hard.” His heart was racing ninety to nothing. Sam knew about him and Cas, but they hadn’t really interacted with anyone else outside the bunker until Cas disappeared, therefore he had not had to deal with the status of his relationship in public. He had been too wrapped up in the newness of it all with his angel with only his brother there to observe. 

“Take your time Dean, I’m right here. Not going anywhere.”Mia said softly as she pressed small kisses on his lips, Dean kissing her back as a sense of calm came over him.

Deep breath Dean, he told himself as he pressed on. “So, like I said, the next few weeks we spent a lot of time together, um if you know what I mean.”Dean’s face turned crimson as he stuttered getting the words out. Dean was not usually bashful about anything, especially sex, but being with Cas was different. He had gone into unchartered territory with Cas. No man’s land, nope, make that two men’s land. Gay sex for God’s sake, and here he was with his ears and cheeks beet red over a little sex. Spectacular sex as it was, it still made him blush thinking about it. It was still too raw and telling someone else about all the gay sex he had been having was just not gonna happen. Not even with Mia, where he felt more secure and loved than anywhere he could think of.

“So like I said we had this time together, kind of like a honeymoon. You, know, getting to know each other.” Dean paused and then disclosed, “We um, were taking it slow, because, I was, well I hadn’t..um.”

“Had sex with a man before?”

Dean exhaled loudly, thankful for Mia’s intuition and blurted, “Yeah, yeah. I guess you could say I was kind of a virgin….um, you know what I mean. We um, took it slow and then finally we went allthewayandthenthenextmorning…. he was gone. No note, nothing. Sam and I looked everywhere we could think of, called everyone, ran police reports, looked for John Does all over the place. Still, no Cas. “Hell I tried pra…,” Dean caught himself before he admitted to praying to Cas, “practically everything I could think of, no stone unturned, still can’t find him” pain evident in his voice. 

“So Dean, did he leave his things there. He was staying with you right?  
”  
“He didn’t have much, travelled light; it was the job, so there wasn’t much to leave.”

“Did he have a home elsewhere, an apartment or anything?”

“No, he was bunking down with me and Sammy, a lot of burnt bridges behind all of us. We were living in a secluded place, hard to find and off the beaten track. We’d go back there when we weren’t on the road.” The bunker had been their only home in several years. It wasn’t impenetrable, but it was the safest place they could find.

“Could he have been taken by someone?”

“We thought about that, but we haven’t had a clue leading us to believe anyone in particular took him. In our line of business, we have made a lot of enemies, so,”

“Really? A lot of enemies?”

“Yeah, fuck this is so hard to explain. You are never gonna believe if I start telling the truth about me, Sammy and the family business.”

“Tell you what, we’re both hungry. Let’s go tackle that breakfast again and then you can try. I am a good listener, and Dean?”

 

“Yeah.”

“You mean the world to me. Having you here is, well, I’m sorry about Cas, but I’m glad you’re here. And I’m open to whatever you need to say. Won’t judge. I can keep your secrets. Just think about it while I get us something to eat.”


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen  
Dean called Sam to check in and as expected he had no news regarding Cas as of yet. Mia and Dean spent the next hour cooking together, and then eating with their bodies close, touching each other often, quietly enjoying the peaceful companionship. After the kitchen was put in order, Mia took Dean by the hand and led him back to her shower for a quick cleanup. Their touches started out lazily, slithering the soap all over each other, trading kisses, washing each other’s hair. Soon their arousal started to climb so they finished hurriedly and kissed their way into the bedroom and the bed. 

Their desire for one another felt comfortable, it was easy and natural as they worshipped each other’s bodies. The years of solitary living created a void in Mia that she was trying to fill as much as she could, not knowing how long they had together. Surely Cas would come back and Dean would leave her once again. But they were here now and she was hungry for Dean, especially his cock. She pushed him on his back and knelt between those gorgeous bow legs and grasped the base of his cock with one had while dipping in to swipe the clear beads of liquid at the tip. 

“Mnnn. You taste good baby. Love it,” Mia moaned and then sucked the head into her mouth, sliding her tongue, on the underside, upwards, licking and sucking at the same time. Dean was enjoying the view and the attention being paid to his cock, but had an urge to be a more active participant.

He tapped her on the head and motioned to Mia to turn around. She grinned and without releasing Dean from her mouth she swiveled her hips around, getting into position, her bottom now hovering over Dean’s face. Dean grasped both thighs and groaned as he licked up into her wet pussy, finding her clit and laving his tongue over it. Mia was still sucking on his head as she started to bob her head up and down, jacking him with one hand from below. 

“Go slower baby, no rush. Wanna enjoy eating you, then I’m gonna fuck you” he spoke softly in between licks.”Don’t wantcha to make me come. Wanna fuck you too.”

At thirty three and with his vast experience, Dean knew he could make this last, maybe make Mia come more than once, but his refractory time was longer and he needed her to go slow if he was going to fuck her anytime soon.

All Dean heard was “Mmmmnn. Kay, “As Mia continued to suck him down just at a slightly slower pace. His cock felt good in her mouth, thick, smooth and she couldn’t get enough of his taste. Dean was grasping her ass with one hand, the other stroking up and down her back, caressing her curves and burrowing his mouth into her cleft, pulling her in as he sucked her clit, then plunging his tongue in and out. Lick, suck, repeat. Groan, slurp, suck , repeat.

Dean wanted more control, “Mnnn baby, mm so good, but..” He pulled her hips off of him and then flipped her onto her back, repositioning them so that he was now over her pussy and she was suckling him from underneath. His mouth was now consistently lavishing her clit and he slid two fingers into her, curled up, massaging her upper wall as he pressed them in deeper and deeper. Mia started to writhe under him, taking him further into her mouth, up and down, up and down his shaft, swallowing him and whimpering all the while. Soon she was bucking her hips up, making Dean’s hand go even deeper as her orgasm started, the walls of her pussy surrounding Dean’s fingers, clamping down in spasm after spasm. Dean gave her puss a few more swipes of his tongue, avoiding her sensitive nub, sucking her juices in one last time and then mounted her. Mia had released Dean’s cock at some point and now he was driving it into her with abandon.

As Dean straddled her he pushed his shoulders against the underside of her thighs, and bent them down so he could reach her lips, and then started fucking her in earnest, slapping his thighs into her ass, pounding her with powerful, and grinding thrusts. Mia couldn’t move the way Dean had her pinned down, but she could respond to his mouth on hers. She opened up to him, her mouth soft and inviting while he in turn devoured her. God she was soft. Her mouth was soft. Soft, wet pussy. Tight but soft. Dear Lord! Dean was getting close and settled into a less vicious pace, dragging his pelvis over her, creating friction like she had taught him so long ago, while he continued to move in and out of her. He released her mouth, throwing his head back and came when he felt the waves of her orgasm around him. He maintained his position, riding the pleasure out, shuddering as he thrust deep a few more times. 

Groaning he bent over claiming her mouth again, pulling her with him onto their sides, keeping his cock buried inside her. They fell asleep just like that, legs tangled, sweaty and sated, the only sound in the room was their breathing as they drifted off.

They slept soundly through the night, pressed together, both of them needing the reassurance of a body in close proximity. They may have moved in the night, but they never totally let go.

Mia woke first and breathed in Dean’s musky aroma, woodsy and all male. God he smelled good. She watched him sleep until her bladder complained, too stretched out and becoming painful. Disentangling her limbs from his, she eased out of the bed. The sight of Dean all tousled in her bed initiated some plans for later, but now food. They had not had time for anything else but each other since he arrived. 

The smell of coffee woke the hunter and he padded into the kitchen looking for Mia. 

“There you are. I was gonna come get you in a minute. Pancakes?”

“Yesss. ‘m starving. Coffee?” Dean went to get a cup and they tucked into the big breakfast Mia had prepared. Later they snuggled on the sofa, stereo playing in the background.

“Dean?”

“Mnn nnh.”

“Are you gonna tell me. Really, I’m a good listener.”

Mia was trying not to be pushy. She wanted to understand Dean and knew he would be gone again. Cas would come back and even if he didn’t, there was so much going on behind Dean’s eyes that she just wanted to help him somehow.

Dean wanted to let Mia in. She deserved to know after all she had done for him. How could he not tell her? Then again if he did tell her, she was gonna think Dean was crazy and that would be the end of that! Dean searched his mind for a way to ease her in to it and opened with, “Do you believe in ghosts?”

Not what Mia was expecting. 

“Ghosts?”

“Yeah, ghosts, things that go bump in the night, monsters, and paranormal stuff?”

“Where’s this going Dean?”

“It’s about the family business.”

“Your work? Your work is about ghosts?”

“Yeah, like we hunt them when they start causing trouble, we snuff them so they can’t hurt people and stuff.”

“You’re serious?” Mia could not see or hear any facetiousness to his tone or demeanor. Dean appeared to be telling the truth. It was her job to read people on a daily basis and Dean looked like he was being honest. He looked at her with those emerald eyes and she could see no guile, no wavering, no tell. Liars always had a “tell”. That tell would give them away. Some quirk. He was either a really good liar or he was telling the truth.

“So you mean to tell me that you and Sam hunt ghosts and monsters just like those brothers in those books about the supernatural, you know the ones, the ones written by that guy with a girl’s name. I think it’s Shurley, yeah Chuck Shurley. I read all of those a few years ago.”

Dean let out a sound of disgust. “Damn those books and damn Chuck. He wrote those about us.”

“About you? Wait a minute; the brother’s were named Sam and Dean.” Mia paused, a look of disbelief on her face, but you could almost see the “Aha moment” when she fastened her eyes on Dean. “Hey they were Sam and Dean just like you guys, but their name is Winchester and your last name is Smith.” Mia blushed when she remembered melding her Dean with the fictional Dean in her mind, giving him the starring role in her night time fantasies.

“Smith was an alias. We’ve used a lot of those. My real last name is Winchester. We used fake ID’s all the time while we were hunting. You go around killing things and you can become unpopular real quick.”

“So what are you, a writer? Or you knew the writer and this is loosely based on your life?”

Dean knew it would be hard to explain, but those damn books were making things worse. The truth was convoluted enough, there was no way Mia was going to believe him, and he should have never tried. Fuck his fucking life! He couldn’t think of any way of convincing Mia and then he had a thought. “Baby.”

“Yes, Dean.”

“No, I mean my baby, come see her. Chuck wrote about her, she was in the books too.”

Something in Mia wanted to believe Dean, but this was so farfetched. Why would Dean spin this tale? What purpose would it serve? “Let me get dressed and we’ll go look at your car.”

On the way out to the Impala Dean told Mia about his arsenal, he figured just showing her a trunk full of weapons would alienate her more without some sort of explanation. The tools of his trade were ever present in his baby’s boot, a testament to how strange his life really was. The guns and knives were ordinary, but when she saw the holy water, manuscripts, and warding signs maybe a little of it would appear authentic. It was worth a shot. When Dean opened the trunk, Mia’s mouth gaped open; it was a lot to take in. He had warned her. Dean watched her as she took it all in. Mia didn’t know whether she should be scared or mad. She was dumbfounded at the elaborate level of preparation it would have taken Dean to pull this off. The guns looked real enough, so did the knives; there were bags of salt, containers labeled holy water; it was all too much to take in. Earlier she wanted to try and hear Dean out, to believe him: now in her state of confusion she couldn’t help it as the laughter bubbled up and escaped her, which quickly deteriorated into hysterical giggles when she saw the look on Dean’s face. 

At first he looked so serious, then frustrated as he wiped his hand down over his face which made her giggle harder. He shook his head, closed the trunk and went back to the house shaking his head as he went, Mia trailing after him, trying to stifle the giggles which just made it worse. Dean made his way to the bathroom and shut the door. Mia decided to let it go for now: she was still trying not to laugh and looked for something to distract her. She went in the den and pulled out the first volume of the supernatural books and started to skim through it, looking for any kind of information that would help her understand, what she was trying to understand she still was unsure of. 

Mia heard Dean rustling around in the bedroom and deciding to join him.

“Dean? I’m sorry I laughed. It all seems too fantastic to believe, that’s all. I want to believe you, but you have to admit, it all seems so unreal, so unbelievable. Dean?”

He wasn’t exactly sulking, he was more frustrated. He wanted to invite Mia in. Maybe that was cruel. Here she had a nice quiet life and he had to come and try to insinuate his very dangerous, manic life into hers. Dean decided to drop it for now, pulled her to him and led her to the bed. There was a place they communicated very well. 

The next day Mia had to work so Dean hung out, did some research on the computer, then puttered around the house noticing little things that needed repairing. He guessed that was expected, a woman living alone like that, with no one to look after her. He figured the least he could do was help out a little. He checked in every day with Sammy, made him promise to call if he heard anything. Sam assured him that he had his back and didn’t press Dean too much about where he was and what he was doing.

When Mia came home they would cook together and the conversation became more relaxed. Dean shared some of the less scary hunts with her, realizing it was just too much for a civilian and that if she knew about everything, she would think he was mental. Mia would listen to Dean’s stories with rapt attention. He either had a fantastic imagination or just maybe, some of it was true. Sometimes they would cuddle up in front of the television, Dean catching up on trash T.V., Mia preferring to read, so she had restarted those “Damn books” as Dean called them. Mia definitely liked the Dean character better, Sam might be hot, but he was kind of whiny. Dean’s character was sexy and had a heart of gold, or as she liked to call it, a marshmallow center. The writer had really caught Dean’s essence, the way he looked after Sammy reminded her so much of the little mother hen she knew her Dean to be.

One day as they were nested on the couch together, television on, legs tangled, Mia deep into a book, Dean felt Mia tense up. He looked over at her and she had a look of pure terror on her face. 

“What is it? I wished you wouldn’t read those damn things. They’ve been nothing but a thorn in my side!”

“Dean, you didn’t, um, no way you killed your father. I know he was a son of a bitch, but no way, right?”

Dean didn’t answer right away so Mia pressed on. “Also it has your age wrong in here. When Sam was twelve you were twenty two, it says in the books that you were only four years older than Sam. That’s not true is it? Is it Dean?”

Out of all the things that she had read, Mia had to latch onto that age thing. He never thought it was important to tell her before, but now she was looking at him like now she knew, she knew everything he was telling her was true because he freaking lied about his age when Sammy was dying. He had to lie or Sam could have died. He had to lie in order to take care of Sammy when his dad wasn’t there. He had to be legal, and besides he had been big for his age, so it wasn’t usually a problem. Now he was sitting here with the woman who had taken his virginity at sixteen, thinking he was twenty two, when she was eight years his senior. And by the look on her face the reality of the circumstance was hitting her like a ton of bricks.

Mia’s eyes were boring in to him, “Well Dean, tell me the truth. How old are you? How the hell old are you?”

“’m sorry Mia. I needed you then and you and I…”

“I asked, How. Old. Are. You? Answer me Dean!”

Mia had not raised her voice as of yet, it was deceptively calm and measured as she was freaking out inside.

Dean sighed but looked her in the eye and admitted, “Thirty three, I’m thirty three.”He was not going to do the math for her and say that he was sixteen when they met. He was not going there. But she did and quickly. “Oh. My. God. Dean. How could you not tell me? Did you even think about how much trouble I could have gotten in? You were SIXTEEN, Dean, SIXTEEN….Dear Lord, I can’t even believe.” Mia’s thought trailed off, reviewing the details in her mind of the time in 1995 when evidently, unbeknownst to her, she was a child molester. Dear God! Fucking teenage hormones! She knew it wasn’t right having sex with a patient’s family member, but he had been sixteen. Six fucking teen. 

All this time, she had been pining for a fucking teenager. She must be really depraved, no self control, no sense of right or wrong. How could she have done that? Mia left the living room and went to the bedroom to berate herself, not to mention, she really couldn’t look at Dean right now. Selfish, horny, son of a fucking bitch! Then he just shows up on her doorstep, crying, and she takes him in and fucks him again. Damn it to hell! She must be losing her fucking mind!

Dean steered clear for a while, almost glad that she was mad at him for the age thing, maybe it would take her mind off of all the other stuff he had thrown on her. He left her a note on the counter as he headed out the door to give her some space. They had not been food shopping in a while and Dean decided to go stock up on a few things. Mia heard him go out the door and got mad at herself that when she heard the door shut and the impala start up she felt anxious at him leaving and willed him to come back. She was such a degenerate, fucking a sixteen year old and still hot for the little bastard. There was just no hope for her.

When Dean got back, he slipped in quietly, trying not to disturb her if she was asleep and got some steaks ready to grill, he even made a salad, well a kind of salad, not all that green stuff, a caprese salad, it was just mozzarella cheese, tomatoes and basil drizzled with olive oil. Now that was a salad. Mia heard Dean come back in and had decided that Dean lying to her had not been totally his fault. His bastard of a dad was mostly to blame. Putting that much responsibility on a sixteen year old. Where was he when Sam was dying? Off hunting some ghost? How in any universe was that more important than your own kids? Bastard. Mia had mulled it over in her mind several times and realized that it was getting her hot, remembering all of the sex; the sex with a sixteen year old. She was a wanton, wanton hussy, she was. She decided to forgive Dean. She had not had make up sex in a long, long time.


	18. Chapter 18

Dean jerked awake to the sound of his phone ringing and vibrated on the bedside table. It was Sammy.

“Dean?”

“Yeah Sammy. You find out something?”

“It’s Cas, Dean. He’s here. How long will it take you to get here?  
”  
“’m on my way Sammy. Take me ten hours at the most. Where’s he been? Let me talk to him!”

“Dean, I’m sure he’s gonna be okay, but right now he’s drained, no mojo. Sleeping in your bed right now. Kind of out of it. No physical injuries that I can see. Just wiped. I think he’ll be okay though. Asked for you, said he was sorry and passed out. Just sleeping though.”

“You’re sure. Just sleeping?”

“Yeah Dean, just sleeping. I’m gonna let him sleep, but I’ll watch him closely til you get back. He’s gonna be okay Dean. Cas is gonna be okay.”

“’m on my way pronto. Thanks, Sam.”

Dean hung up and turned to Mia, “So sorry. Gotta go. Cas is back.”

Mia was torn between being happy for Dean and missing him already. She had done this before. Surely it wouldn’t hurt as much this time. She kept telling herself at least she had this time with Dean, it had been important to her. The circumstances were not optimal, but she had held Dean in her arms again and that was nothing but good. Dean dressed quickly and she walked him to the door. Dean clung to her and tears were rolling down both of their faces, both of them knowing how Dean’s departure would affect them and unable to do anything about it. He had to go. She had to let him.

Dean made good time, traffic was light and he knew all the best shortcuts. He called Sam a couple of times for reassurance that Cas was just sleeping; that he was going to be all right. When he got to the bunker he went straight to his room and there was Cas, breathing steadily under the covers, looking peaceful, just like a normal day: like nothing had happened. He bent over his angel, carded his fingers through his hair and caressed his stubbly jaw. Cas stirred, sensing Dean’s presence. “Scoot over, buddy, getting in with you.” Dean stripped down to his boxer’s and crawled in beside Cas wrapping his body around him and crooning into his ear with soft words of love. “Sorry Dean, so sorry.”

Dean took note of the fatigue in his voice and murmured, “It’s all right baby. I got you now. Just sleep, we’ll talk later okay.”

“Okay Dean, so sorry,”Cas whimpered as he dozed off the need for sleep overpowering his other needs. Besides, now Dean was here next to him, and he could relax in his arms. Dean and Cas slept several hours, Sam checking in on then from time to time. Sam made sure there was food in the kitchen and went to see if there was a hunt that needed attending to.

Dean woke first and tried to get Cas’ attention. “Going to get a shower, buddy. Want to come with me?”

Cas groaned, blinked his eyes at the light and smiled at Dean. The smile grew bigger as he became more alert, stretching, and ended with a big toothy grin. “Yeah, I’m coming. Help me up?”

“You okay buddy?”

“Just weak. No juice.”

Cas was a little unsteady on his feet but did not need much help after he got up, still leaning on Dean as they headed to the bathroom. They stripped and got in the shower together, Dean watching Cas closely for any sign that he was going to pass out or needed help. Dean stood behind him, allowing Cas to lean back into him for support. Dean nibbled on the back of Cas’ neck, burying his nose into his mussy dark hair. Cas was slowly becoming more alert, all of his senses had been dulled.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas.”

“I smell a woman on you. She smells familiar. Do I know her?”

Dean’s heart sank. How was he going to explain Mia to his boyfriend?

“No Cas, I don’t think you’ve ever met her. She is someone I knew in my past. I went to visit her. I, um, needed someone. You had been gone so long and I…”

Dean was at a loss for words; his emotions had been all over the place over the last few months. Cas and he had finally figured out how to express their feelings for one another and then he left abruptly. The loneliness and frustration he felt with the loss of his angel drove him to seek out comfort with Mia after all these years. When Dean tried to explain to Mia what his life was like, she had not been very receptive, which was putting it lightly. She was totally justified in her anger over his deception and lies. He wanted to prove to her how he felt and then all of a sudden Cas was back.

Cas just sighed into Dean’s arms, closing his own around Dean’s and pulling him closer.

“She was always there Dean; she was something I knew was always a part of you, I just never knew in what way. She is part of you and also part of why I love you. Tell me about her.”Cas urged the hunter.

“So you’re not upset about me being with her?”

“No Dean. I was away and you needed her. Why would I be upset with you?”

“So you aren’t jealous?”

“I am territorial Dean. I would have been hurt if you had sought out a meaningless type of solace. This woman is part of you and I feel very comfortable with the thought of you with her. I was not here for you. You were very alone. Her care for you takes some of the sting out of me leaving you alone. Knowing that you had her is worlds better than me leaving you on your own.”

“You know I had sex with her?”

“Yes Dean. I sensed the profound bond that you have with her, much like the bond that you and I share. I also know what you need when you are sad and what brings you comfort. You are a very sexual being Dean, so I am reassured that you were well taken care of in my absence.”

Dean sighed and snuggled in closer to his angel, no space left between them as they were skin on skin. After they finished their shower they got something to eat and went back to Dean’s bed. The rest of the day and part way into the night they spent dozing alternating with lots of sex and cuddling.

The next morning Cas awoke to the smell of coffee and the sounds of Dean in the kitchen. Coffee was one of the things he missed about being on earth, it was one of the aromas he associated with Dean, and it meant he was at home. He slipped out of bed, pulled on some of Dean’s boxers and a -t shirt and paddled on his bare feet into the kitchen. There was Dean, humming to AC/DC and flipping pancakes with nothing on but an apron.

“Mmmm mine” erupted from somewhere deep within Cas, loving the sight, smell and sounds of his human in this seductive and yet soothing stance. He sidled up behind him after soaking in the view, snaking his arms around Dean’s waist and pulling him back into himself. He nuzzled Dean’s neck and Dean leaned back into Cas, feeling his stubble pressing into his skin. 

“Ready for breakfast?”

“Mmmn. Ready for you.”

“Well you may not be hungry, but we humans need to refuel, especially after they have been totally drained by all the action you got last night, buddy.”

“Well, I would love some coffee.”

Cas opened a cabinet and retrieved a mug, never letting go of Dean as he then poured some coffee and sipped on it. Dean tilted his head back to watch him, stealing a kiss as Cas hummed into the mug. The rest of the day was spent cuddling and lounging around the bunker, peppered with periods of both tender and intense shagging, both of them trying to keep a point of contact between their bodies at all times. Dean couldn’t get enough of his angel. Their encounters were both frantic and soothing, the desire for one another permeated with the pain of their recent separation. 

Sam called the next day. He had been checking in with Dean periodically to make sure his brother was all right. He knew he had been in a deep funk and was worried about him. Now that Cas was back, Sam figured they needed sometime together and he wanted to be nowhere near the bunker while they were having what he was sure to be a very loud reunion.

“How’s Cas Dean, is he okay?”

“He’s better than okay Sammy.”

“You sound pretty chipper. How are you doing?”

Dean had no reply, smiling into the phone; after a tense pause from Sam came “Oh, oh,God, never mind, never mind. So you guys are all right?”

“Yeah, Sam. We’re better than that.”

“Is it safe to come back to the bunker yet or do you guys need more time? “

“It’s safe Sammy, just bring provisions. We haven’t gotten out since I got back.”

“If you’re sure it’s safe, I’m headed back there to do research. Think I’ve got a case. Be there in a few hours.”

The next several days were spent researching …a hunt.., the hunters and the angel falling back into a familiar pattern with each other. They were like a well oiled machine, complementing each other’s talents in order to get the job done. The quiet smiles and looks shared buoying up their spirits, melding them into a force to reckon with. 

Cas noticed something in Dean’s demeanor that bothered him. He saw some sadness, and either regret or longing. It was escalating and yet Dean never expressed the reason for his low thoughts to Cas. So, the angel waited until a night of particularly tender lovemaking, while they were basking in the afterglow before he broached the subject.

“Dean?”

“Mmnn mm, Cas.”

“Something is bothering you.” 

It was a statement, not a question and Dean heard the unspoken meaning of Cas’ words. He had been fighting an inner battle and sense of loss again. He was not surprised that his partner was aware and the feeling was becoming stronger. He knew that he had to face this, but was afraid of what would happen between the two of them if he expressed himself.

“You are missing her.”

Dean flinched a little, Cas knew him way too well. He’d had to leave her once. This time it hurt less because he had Cas, but he knew she was alone and could not bear the thought of her remaining in her solitary life. He wanted to protect her heart and knew he had made things worse for her by leaving her again. She had never found anyone else and the bond between them had developed into a more mature connection during their recent retreat. The reassurance he had gotten from her along with the physical coupling had intensified his feelings for her and he now had to admit to himself that he wanted her in his life, but absolutely did not want to hurt Cas with that knowledge.

“Dean?” Cas breathed.

“Please talk to me”

Dean felt the emotion well up, fear and longing bubbling up within him, coming out as tears and a choking sensation. His emotions had been on such a major roller coaster ride. First admitting to Cas how he felt, becoming close, losing him had been almost too much to bear. Then he found comfort with her and even though he now had Cas back the wrenching pain of losing her again was rapidly beginning to overwhelm him, thoughts of her seeping into his thoughts day and night.

“Cas, I miss her” Dean choked out with a sob as he clung desperately to him. That was all Dean could say, knowing that if he tried to express everything he was feeling, he would open the floodgates to his tears. As it was his eyes were welling up just thinking about all the warmth and solace he had received from her.

“Then we shall have to go and get her.”

“Cas, you don’t mean that. You just came back. I missed you so much. Need you.”

“You need her as well Dean and I need you to have her. I have always known there was a part of you that was missing. Something elusive that was hidden to me before. If it is in fact her, then you shall have her with my blessing.”

“That doesn’t make sense Cas. How would that work?”

“I think I should meet her first, don’t you? The logistics can be worked out later Dean. Call her.”


	19. Chapter 19

Epilogue

After breakfast the next morning, Dean called Mia arranging to meet her at one of Cas’ and Dean’s favorite places. She was surprised to hear from Dean now that Cas was back. Her heart was full; she had missed her sweet boy. All of her adult life she had been self sufficient, taking care of herself and her children for years, sometimes accepting help from her friends as she had no family to speak of , just a few distant cousins. So she was surprised at herself when she fell apart after Dean left this time. Before he had been so young and she felt as though she had taken advantage of him. Sure he was into the physical relationship, but he had been vulnerable at the time, what with Sam being ill and his father gone. As she looked back, she also felt a little sad for the young woman that she had been who out of loneliness had reached out to the younger man. Now that Dean had admitted to her how very young he really was, her denigration of herself had escalated, sending her into quite a funk when he left again. He was restless and grieving for his angel, which made his leaving understandable. It was harder for her this time. She thought it would be easier; she had done it before.She had gotten used to being alone, had fallen into familiar patterns, taking care of others, managing her household, not finding the need to look for a man. It never seemed important; she could not imagine assimilating someone new into her life. 

Then Dean ended up on her doorstep after all those years, needing solace, and the connection was immediate and felt so right. They had clung to one another, Dean bereft and her just hungry for his touch, his very presence healing a wound she had not really acknowledged. The warmth he brought to her bed made it seem emptier now more than ever. It was no wonder she was elated that he had contacted her and wanted her to meet Cas. There were butterflies camping out inside her now, but nothing was going to prevent her from the trip, not even the panic inside that was pressing her to do nothing, to just stay in her safe little corner of the big, bad world. Dean’s admission about his family’s vocation was a major deterrent, but there was Dean. Dean, her sweet boy turned manly man. Now he had his Cas, but he was drawing her into their sphere and she was going to just go with it and quit second guessing herself.

Mia pulled into the parking lot and spied the familiar shape of the Impala that brought Dean into her life and had also taken him away. She pulled up next to it, put her car into park opened the door and slid out of the seat. Dean rushed away from a dark headed man, falling into her arms, the look on his face beatific. The presence of two out of the three most significant people in his life was making him euphoric and he was a little short of breath. The outcome of Cas and Mia meeting today was crucial. Dean pulled back a little and turned to meet the gaze of the gorgeous man standing by. Cas was standing patiently, waiting for the embrace to end; Dean slowly released her and looked at Cas with unadulterated adoration.

“Cas this is Mia. Mia this is Cas.”

Cas opens his arms and Mia falls into them, hugging the angel with warmth and feeling, Cas reacting to the essence of Dean within her, knowing her, aware of something familiar. Something he had always known, as long as he had been cognizant of Dean, she had been there but out of reach. He had always sensed another presence about Dean, but as many reincarnations of Dean’s soul that he experienced; her spirit had been hidden from him until now. She had always been a part of Dean and it was time for Cas to know her too, so Cas bent down and kissed her softly on each cheek and said in his incomparable gravelly voice, “Welcome home Mia.”

They spent the day at the park, sounds of children nearby, relaxing on a picnic blanket spread with goodies Mia had prepared. She had chosen Dean’s favorites, of course there was pie, two kinds, apple and cherry, and home fried chicken with the rest of the usual picnic fare. Cas and Mia sharing Dean stories, Dean filling in details, the strangers assessing one another, reassuring themselves that the other one was worthy of Dean’s devotion. 

The day was sunny with a hint of fall in the air, just a little coolness, causing them to become soporific, and Dean was starting to doze off. They were at ease with each other and enveloped with a peace Dean had known so little of. Cas beamed at the two of them, content in the knowledge that for once, his human was relaxed, not just drained of energy, enabling him to drift off. Dean’s head was in Cas’ lap, and Mia was laying facing Dean, his arm pulling her into him, his leg slung over her lower body. Soon he was fully asleep and his face was peaceful.

The End


End file.
